This is the best thing i've seen this year!!!! http://twitpic.com/5o84rl

"Boob" is the perfect word, the B looks like an aerial view of them, the oo looks like the frontal view and the b looks like a side view

So every morning I wake to the sound of a woman screaming at her kid, so I wrote this letter to leave on her car! http://t.co/ykPPd0NE

New Pope thinks gay adoption is like child abuse. Since when did the Catholic Church become such experts in child abuse….Oh, never mind….

It's ok everyone, I've sorted it. I've liked an fb group "like to stop the riots" job done, you don't have to thank me

Less than 1 month without a pope and we've already cured HIV

The 4th of July, the only time of the year Americans say the day and month in the correct order

Explaining fucking to kids http://t.co/2cQoa7j2

Kurt Cobain killed himself one month after Justin Bieber was born........He just knew

That woman ur dancing behind bends over so u grind it, then u realise she just lost an earring & no 1 else in Starbucks can hear ur iPod

This is amazing! RT @mshaw_: This is the best below tweet i have seen. http://t.co/7tjON3W1

Exclusive picture of the iPhone 5. It has a unique vibration feature and a much bigger camera http://t.co/IZehQNLV

The kids next door have challenged me to a water fight, I'm just tweeting while I wait for the kettle to boil....

My email to Nestle :o) http://t.co/RA0n6Ew9

The creation of James Arthur #XFactor  http://twitpic.com/bkku5p 

There is no I in team, but there are 5 in Individual Brilliance #Bam

So Tulisa's new album has flopped…….She must have tried to suck it off

I saw some ducks practising their teenage girl faces at the pond today

I'm at a wedding party of a girl that used to regularly wank me off on the dance floor :-)

Girl in front if me in Tesco is buying a pregnancy test and a bottle of vodka, looks like someone has a crazy night planned!