i smoke weed every single day. i also go to work every day. i pay my bills. i get it all done. i'm responsible. STFU howard.

work sucks and is bad for you. it corrodes your soul and makes you ordinary.

how many days has Obama been POTUS? and he hasn't come for your guns yet. fucking chill, smoke a joint, calm the fuck down already. #stupid

our big thing was sneaking wine coolers. seems downright quaint in comparison to tampon-eating.

To EVERY man that voted for #Obama: You don't have a uterus so I want to THANK YOU for protecting mine. #YouAreAwesome

i don't understand why they didn't send a working ship to take all those ppl off the busted carnival ship & bring them home.

@orlandosentinel excuse me but i think your reporter ---> @renestutzman is doing editorials and opinion pieces instead of straight reporting

fuck you @walmart with your promoted tweets. get the fuck off my timeline you greedy, corporate assholes.

@ventivodkacran thank you, i love it even though every time i look at it it scares the living shit out of me.

#iHaveNoLoveFor criminal defense attorneys who help rapists and murderers stay out of jail so they can commit more crimes.

President Obama could sit quietly in a room with his hands folded, thinking about lunch and the GOP would find a way to demonize him for it.

so kids are eating tampons in hopes of getting famous? i just thank the goddess i was born LONG before the internet made kids so stupid.

@lexiechey @deb_libby @renestutzman wow i am stunned, that's shameful. @orlandosentinel needs to do something about her. NOT COOL.

@porcelain10 @michaelbkiefer convicted murderer the only thing that makes her happy anymore,how does that make you feel inside,pleasing her?

I'm going to start using "botchagaloop" in everyday conversation.

i'm MUCH RATHER be killed by a drone than have #RandPaul & his buddies in charge of what i do w/my uterus. #StandWithRand #NOFORCEDBIRTH

this place is a sucker's game and investing in it will get you nowhere.

Lisa Lampanelli isn't really all that funny. Never was.

@coll143sher @blaiss i stand together with you both. #BoycottCaseyAnthonyForever #NoMoneyForMurder #JusticeForCaylee

Former 'SNL' Actress Victoria Jackson Calls for 'White History Month,' Later Deletes Article  http://shar.es/CUxDB  via @thr