I think that daytime TV is the thing driving suicide rates in this country.

#GirlsShould have realized by now that noone likes the picture of you in the mirror with your sports bra and snapback. Not cute, ladies.

Looking at pictures from people's Beach Week... Im surprised more white girls arent abducted and killed.

Im giving you all two years to think about how hilarious I am. Until then... TO THE X-TREME!

Fender Guitars, Lamborghini, One Direction, Hipsters and Bruno Mars, #whitegirlproblems , Kardashians and who could forget Adele?

#MenShouldntTextEachOther "So you think you can just not come to my DDR party and me not notice?"

Guys I thought of this funny thing we were at a Chinese resturaunt and I put the chopsticks in my mouth like a walrus #lol Someone love me.

Its unfortunate when you facebook stalk someone for so long that you get to the "born" tab.

I hope that I can live my life in a way so that one day people will make a hologram of me too.

GUYS I JUST REALIZED WHY SNAPBACKS CAME BACK INTO PUBLIC FAVOR. Ash Ketchum. Boooooom.

Not trying to brag here... but in 2:31 of the @officialhumoru behind the scenes video, you can totally see my butt. http://t.co/Jy80q631

Just because you havent heard them doesn't mean they're new. Either way, congrats to Justin Vernon. Great work thusfar.

Im just going to skip class today to mentally prepare for the UNC - Duke game tonight. I dont understand how everyone isnt as excited as me.

Hello Cassie. Thanks for keeping me on the straight and narrow in Poli Sci.

Google Plus with my favorite Filipino and Sloth friends of all time. #alltime

Im not on #teamfollowbaq. I'm on team you follow me and read my funny and poignant tweets.

@lila 's tweets always make me think that Im on the outside of some inside joke. #stillworththefollow

@jdmacmizzle watching your dad pour hot sauce on his BBQ was incredible. He used like half a bottle #haha #loveyourfamily #whyamihashtagging

By the way, its pronounced vase, like case. Its not "vahze". Stop being so snoody.

Hot sexy singles meet here! #belieber #teamnicki Cheap NBA jerseys! Kate Upton, Fathers Day, Lebron. Syria, #teambreezy oh and Hunger Games