Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
My bank account is metaphorically at the point where the paramedic shouts "Clear!"
The smaller the nation, the longer the anthem
An autobiography without punctuation is a life sentence
Revenge is a dish best served cold. That's why you've woken up in a locked freezer.
We are probably the first generation that will have our user names on the headstone
In younger days I sported a pony tail/goatee combo. Which means my current baldness proves that karma is indeed a bitch.
Satire is being silly about the serious. Sport is the exact opposite.
Happy Hour. Followed by Indiscretion Minute. Followed by Remorse Week.
Circles are pointless
If Twitter has achieved anything, it's to free sentences from the oppressive yoke of paragraphs
Yes, of COURSE I'm listening. Just not to you.
Like an office, the Twitter day shift is a bit more serious & political, while the night shift hold wheelie chair jousting tournaments
After a couple of months, Siri will know your every habit and desire. And that's when the blackmail starts.
There is no greater joy than making others laugh. Even if it's your psychiatrist.
Disappointment is the only thing that lives up to expectations
Just because they do it on Glee doesn't mean that "bursting into song" is socially acceptable again
Try attacking me if you want, but you'll only get one punch. Because after that I'll be unconscious.
Sure, yeah, I use a Thesaurus, 'cause that's the way I perambulate
My animal spirit guide turned out to be...very tasty, thank you.
My clock is always set 15 mins fast, in the hope that several celebs careers will be over before I even notice them
Has moved to @MrTwoAitch . Reasons here http://ow.ly/9quxW . This account is now an ex-account...