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Bless you all! Those of you who want the blessings the least, I send you the most . Those of you who think you need them the least, ditto.
That which does not kill me makes me drink a bottle of wine.
"When I grow up I want to be President of the United States so I can fight porn."
Sometimes I'm all LOL and sometimes I'm just WTF.
“If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to.”
― Dorothy Parker
standing by the coffee maker, watching it work, like an anxious stage mother.
To the A-Holes who scream "Get in the hole!" after every single swing of the golf club at every single tournament: you are A-Holes
If your Tweets sound the same month after month, you're doing it wrong. (Life, not Twitter.)
Only people who have done some serious weeping in their day can appreciate light-hearted jokes about weeping.
I want people to say "She was loved by all."
Must go to sleep now. I'm studio gal and I approved this message.
There's no law that says I can't nap for an hour or so before going to Bikram yoga. Or if there is, fuck it, I'ma break it.