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Okay, we shall bug you no longer
  • stupendu
      Annoying Customer @stupendu

    Huh, I just started following my 141st person... and here I thought we were limited to 140 characters!

    • 220
    • FAVS
    Bob_McgroarylemmywinklerKellySi24841815Mr_Kapowskia7n8S9__DrivelodeonidiosityiinkedZombie
    • 28
    • RETWEETS
    Bob_McgroaryMr_KapowskiDrivelodeoniinkedZombieharin9t9t4SamuelHLoweKimBru49KentWGraham
  • stupendu
      Annoying Customer @stupendu

    Really, multi-million $ baby food industry? Best you come up with is "Formula"? How about "I Can't Believe It's Not Mommy." You're welcome.

    • 189
    • FAVS
    _taroism_lemmywinklerKellySi24841815Mr_KapowskiTheMommyDearestjannable9GloGurLJohn26649305
    • 32
    • RETWEETS
    Mr_KapowskidinalositoTreesbugTmoney68JIMBOSWELTTheAlexNevilAwesome_ToddKyteMark______
  • stupendu
      Annoying Customer @stupendu

    I don't like to talk about my pronouns. They're personal.

    • 137
    • FAVS
    junkyardigancelestinelea90mama_mindy99ameyoronVanilla_cupcakLethalLabProjZoobinofflillyflower44
    • 39
    • RETWEETS
    EWILLIAM08SleazySliTheeMsalame__Chwakie_RpeechipkeezyJosephOlangpskottieSamiraAliXD
  • stupendu
      Annoying Customer @stupendu

    Man, that Tai Chi this afternoon kinda kicked my ass. Well, actually it was the Chai Tea, but that doesn't sound nearly as cool.

    • 138
    • FAVS
    Cheeseboy22lemmywinklerImABaconDonutBrianIncognitoMr_KapowskiTheMommyDearestjannable9GloGurL
    • 31
    • RETWEETS
    ImABaconDonutVBeTrollingMr_KapowskiTmoney68AndyAsAdjectivecbahorizejronume_Flutterby_Cat____
    llvvzz
  • stupendu
      Annoying Customer @stupendu

    Uuugh. Anyone who comes across as being chipper this morning shall find themselves being fed into one.

    • 143
    • FAVS
    Mr_KapowskiTheMommyDearestjannable9YeezyEducatedMeIamMichaelDankGloGurLTmoney68JIMBOSWELT
    • 11
    • RETWEETS
    IamMichaelDankWhimsical84TheAlexNevilAdorableCunt__HoesSuckingCock__5S5S5th__________favstar1000favslucysaardi______
  • stupendu
      Annoying Customer @stupendu

    Good thing you included your email address in your signature line of the email you just sent me. Now I will be able to reply to you.

    • 66
    • FAVS
    lemmywinklerTheNewDomShowKellySi24841815ChristoholioMr_KapowskiHannahLTayaxenbaneandyfwhite
    • 61
    • RETWEETS
    TheNewDomShowletyjanegChristoholioMr_KapowskiaxenbaneTheMommyDearestlllvvvzzzDrDweezil
  • stupendu
      Annoying Customer @stupendu

    Is there anything more annoying than a gas pump that kicks off every 3 seconds? Sure, world hunger, maybe. But this is up there.

    • 99
    • FAVS
    Cheeseboy22JusCallMeDNicelemmywinklerjjkRRTpangeagirlMr_Kapowskidanielle_0827The_LeLo
    • 10
    • RETWEETS
    Mr_KapowskiTmoney68rickets12Stun_OneTeeJayRushdickdrawingKauaibridecynicanoldicus
  • stupendu
      Annoying Customer @stupendu

    Guy in front of me at CVS is buying condoms, flowers, vodka and tylenol. There'll be no excuses tonight.

    • 85
    • FAVS
    Mr_KapowskiTheMommyDearestGloGurLTmoney68JIMBOSWELThythemafiaSleazySliLindaInDisguise
    • 23
    • RETWEETS
    JIMBOSWELTmsred1973maulifuffPerkyinfernoL_MoGoFavstar500FavsMaria_ZanateBlackGalFly_
  • stupendu
      Annoying Customer @stupendu

    Some "smart phone." Can't even tell the difference between a "Missed Call" and a "Purposely Ignored and Sent Straight to Voicemail" one.

    • 92
    • FAVS
    Mr_KapowskiTheMommyDearestGloGurLTmoney68JIMBOSWELThythemafiaSwartyComedySleazySli
    • 13
    • RETWEETS
    JIMBOSWELTminnierosegrayHollyNielsentimmytomaJollySamanthakellyskellyjlynnda60Birdguy7
  • stupendu
      Annoying Customer @stupendu

    Happiness pro-tip: Go to Tools > Life > Review > Accept All Changes. Don't forget to Save often.

    • 87
    • FAVS
    Mr_KapowskiTheMommyDearestTmoney68JIMBOSWELThythemafiaSleazySliAdWoodyardAwesome_Todd
    • 8
    • RETWEETS
    5S5S5th__________Trigg3rHippiekhairulazaharikellyskellyFagin2laurensamsmithAvatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48
  • stupendu
      Annoying Customer @stupendu

    Does shaking off my umbrella more than three times mean I'm playing with it?

    • 79
    • FAVS
    motleyfiend138Cheeseboy22lemmywinklerDawn_M_Mr_KapowskiTheCareBareTheMommyDearestTmoney68
    • 5
    • RETWEETS
    Mr_KapowskiTmoney68TeeJayRushKauaibrideFavstar500Favs
  • stupendu
      Annoying Customer @stupendu

    Setting my coffee maker to 'stun'

    • 75
    • FAVS
    Mr_KapowskiTheMommyDearestTmoney68JIMBOSWELThythemafiaSleazySliDrDweezilAdWoodyard
    • 6
    • RETWEETS
    JIMBOSWELTAdWoodyardTrigg3rHippieJohnLyonTweetssquiggIelineFagin2
  • stupendu
      Annoying Customer @stupendu

    I'm following about 20 people going south on I-65. They're not nearly as funny as you guys.I'd unfollow if there was another route.

    • 80
    • FAVS
    Tmoney68hythemafiaSleazySliDrDweezilEagle_VisionLindaInDisguiseWeeabooGenocide__UncleDuke1969
    • 1
    • RETWEET
    Favstar500Favs
  • stupendu
      Annoying Customer @stupendu

    Holy crap! Wife & kids are napping, beer in hand and it's quiet for 1:00 kickoff? THIS must be the part of the movie where zombies attack.

    • 78
    • FAVS
    TheMommyDearestTmoney68JIMBOSWELThythemafiaSwartyComedySleazySliAwesome_ToddUncleDuke1969
    • 1
    • RETWEET
    Avatar_unknown_48
  • stupendu
      Annoying Customer @stupendu

    I love acting hypocritical, but I can't stand it when other people do.

    • 70
    • FAVS
    Tmoney68JIMBOSWELThythemafiaSwartyComedySleazySlilyndsey_hatchDrDweezilAwesome_Todd
    • 4
    • RETWEETS
    TheMommyDearestDrDweezilFavstar500FavsFagin2
  • stupendu
      Annoying Customer @stupendu

    I'm inventing a sandwhich made from: 5 hour energy drink, Cialis, some oil, salami, bacon, a little lettuce.

    I call it "5 Hour Footlong."

    • 70
    • FAVS
    Mr_KapowskiTheMommyDearestTmoney68hythemafiaSleazySliDrDweezilUncleDuke1969Trigg3rHippie
    • 2
    • RETWEETS
    Favstar500FavsFagin2
  • stupendu
      Annoying Customer @stupendu

    While scanning my music library, my anti-virus flagged a Miley Cyrus album as 'questionable content'. I am now McAfee's biggest fan.

    • 70
    • FAVS
    Mr_KapowskiTheMommyDearestTmoney68hythemafiaSwartyComedySleazySliDrDweezilAwesome_Todd
    • 2
    • RETWEETS
    Trigg3rHippieFavstar500Favs
  • stupendu
      Annoying Customer @stupendu

    So, 3yo and I invented a new game tonight, while baby's sleeping, called "Super Quiet Marching Band" I love that he's still impressionable.

    • 64
    • FAVS
    Mr_KapowskiTmoney68hythemafiaSleazySliWeeabooGenocide__UncleDuke1969JohnLyonTweetsDanKCharnley
    • 2
    • RETWEETS
    Favstar500FavsFagin2
  • stupendu
      Annoying Customer @stupendu

    This "ultra whitening" toothpaste isn't effective at all! Oh, hey, brb... Gotta finish my coffee & chocolate donut before my smoke break...

    • 64
    • FAVS
    Mr_KapowskiTmoney68hythemafiaSleazySliUncleDuke1969Trigg3rHippieJohnLyonTweetsDanKCharnley
    • 2
    • RETWEETS
    Favstar500Favseliserose5__
  • stupendu
      Annoying Customer @stupendu

    I have strong negative feelings towards absolute values.

    • 58
    • FAVS
    Tmoney68hythemafiaSleazySliDrDweezilUncleDuke1969Trigg3rHippieDanKCharnleytinuhuhuh________
    • 3
    • RETWEETS
    harin9t9t4DrDweezilFavstar500Favs
@stupendu

@stupendu

I am unique and original, just like everybody else.

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