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  • stupendu
      Annoying Customer @stupendu

    Huh, I just started following my 141st person... and here I thought we were limited to 140 characters!

    • 202
    • FAVS
    JIMBOSWELThythemafiaSwartyComedySleazySliJimmyStaxXxUnderchildeWhimsical84DrDweezil
    • 22
    • RETWEETS
    UnderchildeWhimsical84DrDweezilIncognitovillemetalpants_correctomundolllvvvzzzLindaInDisguise
  • stupendu
      Annoying Customer @stupendu

    Really, multi-million $ baby food industry? Best you come up with is "Formula"? How about "I Can't Believe It's Not Mommy." You're welcome.

    • 178
    • FAVS
    JIMBOSWELThythemafiaSwartyComedySleazySliDrDweezilAspersioncastAdWoodyardTheAlexNevil
    • 28
    • RETWEETS
    JIMBOSWELTTheAlexNevilAwesome_ToddKyteMark______IGoByElJaybigfootjakelN_BurkholderDelicateMartyr
  • stupendu
      Annoying Customer @stupendu

    Man, that Tai Chi this afternoon kinda kicked my ass. Well, actually it was the Chai Tea, but that doesn't sound nearly as cool.

    • 128
    • FAVS
    JIMBOSWELThythemafiaSleazySliAspersioncastTheAlexNevilscottthetwat______AndyAsAdjectivenerdonfire1______
    • 27
    • RETWEETS
    AndyAsAdjectivecbahorizejronume_Flutterby_Cat____nerdonfire1______beanmachine47MegnificentWLindaInDisguise
    llvvzz
  • stupendu
      Annoying Customer @stupendu

    Uuugh. Anyone who comes across as being chipper this morning shall find themselves being fed into one.

    • 136
    • FAVS
    JIMBOSWELThythemafiaSleazySliWhimsical84DrDweezilAspersioncastTheAlexNevilAwesome_Todd
    • 10
    • RETWEETS
    Whimsical84TheAlexNevilAdorableCuntHoesSuckingCock__5S5S5th__________favstar1000favslucysaardi______ICanStillDream____
  • stupendu
      Annoying Customer @stupendu

    I don't like to talk about my pronouns. They're personal.

    • 111
    • FAVS
    JIMBOSWELThythemafiaSwartyComedySleazySliDrDweezilAspersioncastfunnybeachgirlTheAlexNevil
    • 14
    • RETWEETS
    DrDweezilTheAlexNevilImAnAngryBeaverfavstar1000favsLindaInDisguiseRestlessYouth_kthnxbithewayUncleDuke1969
  • stupendu
      Annoying Customer @stupendu

    Good thing you included your email address in your signature line of the email you just sent me. Now I will be able to reply to you.

    • 59
    • FAVS
    JIMBOSWELThythemafiaSwartyComedylllvvvzzzSleazySliDrDweezilAspersioncastitszizu
    • 57
    • RETWEETS
    lllvvvzzzDrDweezilKauaibrideAnnaSiracusaArchanaS29heyanuragsal_ghoorAvuxeni_
  • stupendu
      Annoying Customer @stupendu

    Guy in front of me at CVS is buying condoms, flowers, vodka and tylenol. There'll be no excuses tonight.

    • 81
    • FAVS
    JIMBOSWELThythemafiaSleazySliLindaInDisguiseUncleDuke1969Eagle_Vision5S5S5th__________Trigg3rHippie
    • 23
    • RETWEETS
    JIMBOSWELTmsred1973maulifuffPerkyinfernoL_MoGoFavstar500FavsMaria_ZanateOff4thandGraham
  • stupendu
      Annoying Customer @stupendu

    Some "smart phone." Can't even tell the difference between a "Missed Call" and a "Purposely Ignored and Sent Straight to Voicemail" one.

    • 88
    • FAVS
    JIMBOSWELThythemafiaSwartyComedySleazySliAspersioncastAwesome_ToddLindaInDisguiseUncleDuke1969
    • 13
    • RETWEETS
    JIMBOSWELTminnierosegrayHollyNielsentimmytomaJollySamanthakellyskellyjlynnda60Birdguy7
  • stupendu
      Annoying Customer @stupendu

    Is there anything more annoying than a gas pump that kicks off every 3 seconds? Sure, world hunger, maybe. But this is up there.

    • 85
    • FAVS
    JIMBOSWELThythemafiaSleazySliAspersioncastAmrrwiseTeejayRushScottBerghorndickdrawing
    • 8
    • RETWEETS
    Supertard47Stun_OneTeejayRushdickdrawingKauaibridecynicanoldicusFagin2Favstar500Favs
  • stupendu
      Annoying Customer @stupendu

    Happiness pro-tip: Go to Tools > Life > Review > Accept All Changes. Don't forget to Save often.

    • 84
    • FAVS
    JIMBOSWELThythemafiaSleazySliAdWoodyardAwesome_ToddLindaInDisguiseUncleDuke1969SilentAJ
    • 8
    • RETWEETS
    5S5S5th__________Trigg3rHippiekhairulazaharikellyskellyFagin2laurensamsmithAvatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48
  • stupendu
      Annoying Customer @stupendu

    I'm following about 20 people going south on I-65. They're not nearly as funny as you guys.I'd unfollow if there was another route.

    • 79
    • FAVS
    hythemafiaSleazySliDrDweezilEagle_VisionLindaInDisguiseWeeabooGenocide__UncleDuke1969Trigg3rHippie
    • 1
    • RETWEET
    Favstar500Favs
  • stupendu
      Annoying Customer @stupendu

    Setting my coffee maker to 'stun'

    • 72
    • FAVS
    JIMBOSWELThythemafiaSleazySliDrDweezilAdWoodyardUncleDuke1969TheRealRHBTrigg3rHippie
    • 6
    • RETWEETS
    JIMBOSWELTAdWoodyardTrigg3rHippieJohnLyonTweetssquiggIelineFagin2
  • stupendu
      Annoying Customer @stupendu

    Holy crap! Wife & kids are napping, beer in hand and it's quiet for 1:00 kickoff? THIS must be the part of the movie where zombies attack.

    • 76
    • FAVS
    JIMBOSWELThythemafiaSwartyComedySleazySliAwesome_ToddUncleDuke19695S5S5th__________JohnLyonTweets
    • 1
    • RETWEET
    Avatar_unknown_48
  • stupendu
      Annoying Customer @stupendu

    Does shaking off my umbrella more than three times mean I'm playing with it?

    • 71
    • FAVS
    JIMBOSWELThythemafiaSwartyComedySleazySliDrDweezillbasajTeejayRushAnxieTRex
    • 3
    • RETWEETS
    TeejayRushKauaibrideFavstar500Favs
  • stupendu
      Annoying Customer @stupendu

    I love acting hypocritical, but I can't stand it when other people do.

    • 69
    • FAVS
    JIMBOSWELThythemafiaSwartyComedySleazySlilyndsey_hatchDrDweezilAwesome_ToddUncleDuke1969
    • 3
    • RETWEETS
    DrDweezilFavstar500FavsFagin2
  • stupendu
      Annoying Customer @stupendu

    I'm inventing a sandwhich made from: 5 hour energy drink, Cialis, some oil, salami, bacon, a little lettuce.

    I call it "5 Hour Footlong."

    • 67
    • FAVS
    hythemafiaSleazySliDrDweezilUncleDuke1969Trigg3rHippieJohnLyonTweetsDanKCharnleyBoleyngirly
    • 2
    • RETWEETS
    Favstar500FavsFagin2
  • stupendu
      Annoying Customer @stupendu

    While scanning my music library, my anti-virus flagged a Miley Cyrus album as 'questionable content'. I am now McAfee's biggest fan.

    • 67
    • FAVS
    hythemafiaSwartyComedySleazySliDrDweezilAwesome_ToddWeeabooGenocide__UncleDuke1969Trigg3rHippie
    • 2
    • RETWEETS
    Trigg3rHippieFavstar500Favs
  • stupendu
      Annoying Customer @stupendu

    So, 3yo and I invented a new game tonight, while baby's sleeping, called "Super Quiet Marching Band" I love that he's still impressionable.

    • 62
    • FAVS
    hythemafiaSleazySliWeeabooGenocide__UncleDuke1969JohnLyonTweetsDanKCharnleytinuhuhuh________Carmstastic
    • 2
    • RETWEETS
    Favstar500FavsFagin2
  • stupendu
      Annoying Customer @stupendu

    This "ultra whitening" toothpaste isn't effective at all! Oh, hey, brb... Gotta finish my coffee & chocolate donut before my smoke break...

    • 62
    • FAVS
    hythemafiaSleazySliUncleDuke1969Trigg3rHippieJohnLyonTweetsDanKCharnleytinuhuhuh________Carmstastic
    • 2
    • RETWEETS
    Favstar500Favseliserose5
  • stupendu
      Annoying Customer @stupendu

    I have strong negative feelings towards absolute values.

    • 57
    • FAVS
    hythemafiaSleazySliDrDweezilUncleDuke1969Trigg3rHippieDanKCharnleytinuhuhuh________Carmstastic
    • 2
    • RETWEETS
    DrDweezilFavstar500Favs
@stupendu

@stupendu

I am unique and original, just like everybody else.