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oh to wake up to a sportless world
imagine if Ron Jeremy was santa.
world's oldest person has died. AGAIN. man, his life must suck.
i always get fred durst and kirsten dunst mixed up.
i have the most inexplicable urge to go into the kitchen, lay on my side and spin-run in a circle.
Born in Arizona, moved to Anhedonia. #artwiculate
every time i hear someone at hosp thanking god or jesus for a medical miracle it's all i can do to not thwap them. THANK SCIENCE, IMBECILE.
i hate the term "cougar". i prefer "gynosaur".
vulvic mind meld.
hemidemisemiquaver? i didn't even kiss her! #artwiculate
a pristine captain jack harkness coat for 12 bucks at st vinnie's? hell yes.
the woman who eats the same thing every fucking day while muttering, "mm, that's good mcdonalds." #annoyingcoworkers
just found out my bf says "pop" instead of "soda". i hope he realizes this is the shot over the proverbial bow and we are now at war.
"that" pussy. "those" tits. "that" ass. never "your". male linguistic tactic to separate the parts from the human.
i just realized: there are no female cereal mascots. these are the things that keep me awake at night.
10 generations to devolve into "tweets". god bless america.