seriously?
THIS is why I go for older men ... they are better at hiding the fact they only think with their dicks ...

if twitter was RL = stars=one night stand & RT=fuck buddies. we all woulda fucked by now & 1/2 be dead from STDs. but it was so much fun!

just keep swimming
just keep swimming

honey boo boo makes me ashamed to be:
- white
- southern
- female
- human

wtf is wrong with this world???

I think I like beer too much to ever be skinny again

oh well, fuck it

I need to get laid

whoa! I may be nice & talk with you while we sit here at the bar enjoying a beer, but that in no way entitles you to touch me or hug me-eww!

EVERY girl has a "what-if" guy, the "shoulda/coulda/woulda" guy, we will always hold him in the back of the mind

You've been warned fellas

kids are pretty much my favorite kinda people

they dont take any shit, but have no problem giving shit to others

literally & figuratively

now im gonna dress myself for two
once for me & once for someone new
im gonna do some things you wouldnt let me do
im gonna find another you

I may be left-handed, but I am always right

RT if you're a lefty

You're so pretty, but you make decisions like an ugly girl

breakfast for dinner, because I'm spontaneous like that

& because that's about all there is to eat in this damn house

gotta hit up Publix

shut up before I make you shut up by sitting on your face

haikus can be fun / a nice creative outlet / go give it a try

pizza and beer ... my kinda sunday supper

PS - apple jacks milk is the best post cereal consumption milk ever

damn you chickfila and your delicious, but homophobic, chicken sandwich ... you win ... *proceeds to order at drive thru*

"love ya" is not the same as "I love you" ........... remember that ............... love ya guys

Pet peeve # 32
When in an empty waiting room/restaurant/etc, people that sit right next to me

wtf?!

learn the meaning of personal space!