@sucittaM's (Money, Get) most faved Tweets...
Someone told me "twitter is for stupid people that don't have friends". I told her "twitter is for funny people that don't want friends".
I LOST MY JOB!!!
OH! Nope! There it is! It was hiding under the 17 twitter windows I had open on my screen.
OH! Nope! There it is! It was hiding under the 17 twitter windows I had open on my screen.
I paid my psychiatrist to follow me on twitter. that way we can skip the sessions and she can just send me pills.
Men think about sex every 7 seconds. Which is why I eat hot dogs in 6 seconds, so it doesn't get weird.
The family of the trainer killed at Sea World said "she died doing what she loved".
Who "loves" getting attacked by a whale?
Who "loves" getting attacked by a whale?
Wife: I wish you were more like the dog, he always cuddles. Me: I wish you were more like the dog, he tries to lick my penis.
I don't celebrate office birthdays because the fact that these people were born doesn't exactly sit well with me.
In Hindu, they don't eat cows because they are sacred. In Christianity, they pretend to eat Jesus' body every sunday. White people are crazy
If i could have dinner with anyone, alive or dead, I would choose alive, because dead people don't pass the fucking salt.
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