Just out of curiosity, I want to see how many RTs this can get. RT please? I'll love you forever.

Eat less= less food= unhappy

Eat more= more fat= unhappy

WHAT IS LIFE

@mayday_parade My cat pounced on my face last night at 2 am.. #OhWellohWell

GROW A PAIR

I was trying to put on a t-shirt and ended up punching myself in the throat.

Why do you guys even follow me? I'm always like, "I like karate because I'm a bird who plays clarinet on a bicycle."

Children. Learn word usage. "Their" does not equal "There." nor is it the same as "They're." These words aren't interchangeable.

The York patty commercial is way too sexual.

If you want to make something sexual, just add a winky.
Example: pickles

Or

Pickles;)

SEE WHAT I MEAN??

The charger cords for iPods are way too short.

I wonder what tweet has been retweeted the most ever.

RT if you know the difference between "then" and "than."

Mrs. D, Mrs. I, Mrs. FFI
Mrs. C, Mrs. U, Mrs. LTY

#matilda

Save your heart for someone who leaves you breathless
#MaydayParade

Her baby girl died, and she didnt even tear up? She cried when she was being accused in court though. :( #makesmesick #CaseyAnthonyVerdict

From now on, a baby chimp drowns every time someone who's graduated high school uses the wrong there/their/they're or your/you're.

DROWNS.

John Cooper's romantic line of the day: "If you were a potato... you'd be a good potato."

Thank you, Lord, for letting my feet be hairless.

Pro choice? Did the baby have a choice?

*wheezing...* http://t.co/bj8qSM8D