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I think the drunk indicator is when you have to stop, sit still, and really think if you have on pants still.
Looking is too easy.
If I lived in the 18th century, I would have been the guy who pulls teeth from battlefield corpses to sell. Because I'm a recycler at heart.
You just achieved a whole new level of suck. Maybe you should give lessons. You could probably use the cash for that sex change operation.
Oh...if you ever have a problem with me...just @ me for me not to give a fuck in public...or DM me for me to not give a fuck in private...
This Halloween I'm sitting out front to give out candy w/my legs open to reveal a "crotch-O-Lantern."
I just had an actual real-life friend unfollow me. Its gonna be a good night. :) (and Tom, if you're reading this, I fucked your wife.)
Do you have a:
Twitter Sensei, Twitter Crush, Twitter Protege, Twitter Stalker,Twitter Douche?
Then you're doing it right. Probably. Maybe
Sometimes I post some really stupid thoughts here.... That's all I want to say about that.
If your wife/girlfriend asks if there's anyone in the world you'd leave her for, she means actress or model, not a co-worker or her sister
Dear Diary,
Night 2 - electric fence still off. Very little now stands between me & barbarians*. Tonight the jungle drums beat closer.
*you
TV Show Idea: "Hoarding Hoarders" ~ keep them in a cage and every 4 hours toss in some newspaper and cats and watch them fight to the death.
The key to a healthy relationship is the man letting the woman think she's letting the man think he's running the show without letting on.
I'm Fluent In Braille When It Comes To Running My Fingers Across The Bumps On A Freshly Shaved Pair Of Balls!
Twitter: where someone, somewhere gets you.
They're probably naked masturbating in the Australian Outback but whatever.
@supastar04 What I think I hear you saying is you're hung like a horse. Amiright?
Razzle Dazzle Is How I Do It! http://favstar.fm/users/supastar04/
