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@jerilryan In honor of your birthday, I had a special breakfast this morning! http://bit.ly/ikaZbf
@hodgman You may prefer this series of door photos with absolutely nothing of interest spliced into the middle: http://www.twitvid.com/QJL1D
Are there any dummies out there who aren't following @caissie yet? Follower 10,000 gets a rad YA novel. All other followers get free laughs.
Got to see Judge John Hodgman podcast LIVE at @sfsketchfest last night. OUTSTANDING. One of the best comedy shows I've ever seen.
Joe was a man with a wandering eye, but it always came back, except for one time in Fresno. #badcharacterintros
Thank you, Senator Claire McCaskill! // RT @toddakin: Claire was the deciding vote in favor of Obamacare. I voted to repeal 30 times. #MOSEN
Just heard a 4 y/o ask another kid's mom the following about the mom's female friend: HEY! IS THAT YOUR FRIEND OR YOUR SWEETHEART? #progress
In my next hit rap song about bitches on the rag, I'm including the line "Twitter suggests you follow Kotex!" http://t.co/knOPWQmO
Sad to see Amy Winehouse's death described as inevitable. People can recover from great depths. Many make it with help and a little luck.
@jerilryan "All I wanted was a nap and somebody autopsied me!" - Ghost of dead person who regrets purchasing that scary sleeping bag.
Stella's height was surprising, considering her girth, which was also surprising, but not as surprising as her nose. #badcharacterintros
ATTENTION POP CULTURE SLAM POETS & DOPEY WHITE RAPPERS: "Something something Chia Pet / Something something Chat Roulette." You're welcome.
Lovin' you is easy cause you're beautiful / If you were marginally attractive you'd be dead to me / Your personality smells #literalpopsongs
I love the Internet! Latest random discovery, an amazing 90 yr old photo of my grandmother. http://twitpic.com/bt5h2d
nerdling out
