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*time travels back to 1620 and sits down on plymouth rock when the pilgrims arrive* uhhhh sorry im saving these seats for friends
they put a bracelet on me that says im not allowed to fall in love with anyone anymore
[puff puff] i don't see what the problem is. people like the wasps, they like 69, they should like the tweet. [puff] show me where i'm wrong
pretty rich Sea World has no moral qualms about keeping dolphins in captivity but paying customer covering dolphin in henna tat unethical?
some babies are born premature but i was born very mature i just came out and i was like so what
@richarddawkins While I may hold qualms with some of your other, more publicized stances, on this point I couldn't agree more.
Star Wars: A New Hope
Star Wars: Return of the Jobs
Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Cash
there are rifts in the Frankenstein community regarding whether or not igor was tasked with jacking the monster off to keep it docile
i have been feeding thr cat single pieces of corn for ten minutes now
@sirlolsworthy you stole them from Father's Office last night because "they look really nice"
PRANK: say The Simpsons got cancelled and tape everyone's reaction. alter the footage later to make it look like their balls are hanging out
YES, I KNOW MY SON SAID AQUAMAN "SUCKS AND HAS SHITTY POWERS." WHY DID YOU CALL THIS PARENT CONFERENCE, IS HE SKIPPING A GRADE