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I haven't had anything funny to say over the last little bit, really, but my face has been funny this whole time so there's that
By this time next year I won't have to work anymore
I do what I need to in order to get what I want
The frozen waffles I got seemed weird then I realized they’re GLUTEN FREE they should keep those behind the counter in a case or something.
How drunk do I have to be before I assume a breathalyzer is a vape pen?
Asking for a friend. Also, sorry officer Smith for the confusion
I spend a lot of time thinking about what my Top Chef opening credits putting on my chef jacket in a dramatic manner move would be.
I googled if it was ok to put coffee grounds in the garbage disposal & it turns out you shouldn’t put ANYTHING in the garbage disposal.
Now That’s What I Call an Air of Quiet Menace, Volume 17
I’d be a great grandpa. I love to buy candy and have no discipline.
If I win the powerball I’m gonna hire some talented comedy writers to write better “if I win the powerball” tweets for everyone & also me.
If I ever saw a very handsome Hispanic man singing "Trap Queen," I'd be forced to call him Fetty Guap I'M SO SORRY FOR THIS
I learned many things about Sean Gunn today.
I learned SOME things.
tattoo shop wench • a fancy for mischief, music, puns, movies, cooking, rusty brass things & crass • former Ubisoft Frag Doll 'Glitch' • art or die!
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