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The cooking channel makes me horny
I should be getting paid for the amount of people that come to me with their bullshit
Your lips tremble but your eyes are in a straight stare
So if you're shaking hands with someone and you scratch them on the inside of their palm that means you want to fuck them
The hours I'll be awake and working this weekend are unreal fml
Can I tell twitter how great my last trip this morning was
I can't read this without my laughter interrupting me https://twitter.com/tmoney68/status/514530765166481408 …
I'm probably the worst person to bring to a party
Sweeter than a Splenda 'cause nobody slows my agenda, lookin over these bitches like terms and conditions ✨
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