Most people don't notice the things you do for them until you stop doing them.

People with a good sense of humor have a better sense of life.

Facebook makes you hate people you actually know. Twitter makes you love people you've never met.

Stop giving someone else the job of making you happy.

When you lose somebody you love, you never get over it, you get used to it.

Dear Cupid, next time hit us both.😁

Seek respect, not attention. It lasts longer.

Wine improves with age, I improve with wine.

The truth will set you free. But first, it will piss you off.

Before you “assume” try this crazy method called “asking”.

If only closed minds came with closed mouths.

Stop cheating on your future with your past... it's over.

I wish I had a dollar for every dollar I don’t have.

Love is giving someone the power to destroy you, but trusting them not to.

I don't hold grudges. I remember facts.

Alcohol... because remembering is overrated.

Sometimes what you need is to avoid what you want.

Don't think less of yourself, think of yourself less.

I need a 6 months vacation, twice a year.

This tweet is dedicated to whatever you’re ignoring in real life to read it.