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"Look Honey, missionaries."
--Me actually pointing to two young commercial airline pilots in their short-sleeved white uniforms.
Just well enough to be restless but too sick to actually do anything.
On my walk today I saw a $1.5M house with a Beemer and chickens on the front lawn.
I'm confused about the general public's seeming inability to dispose of a murder weapon effectively.
I've been self-employed, working from home for almost two years now. Shoes and a bra by 8 am feels oppressive.
I don't have any Level 5 friends https://twitter.com/fart/status/733049839139741696 …
Sometimes I click that little lightning bolt up there accidentally and I assume others do too, and that's probably the only traffic it gets.
Tupperware--the impulse-buying scenario from hell.
"I'll take one of everything, please."
@PitchingTheWoo Upcoming remote viewing conference in Vegas, in case any of your engineers are interested! http://www.appliedprecog.com/#!2016-app-conference/cv6q …
Antiques Roadshow mistakenly appraised a 1970s high school art project for $50,000: http://www.slate.com/blogs/the_slatest/2016/05/11/antiques_roadshow_mistakenly_appraised_a_1970s_high_school_art_project_for.html?wpsrc=sh_all_mob_tw_top … via @Slate
These off-brand "unscented" tissues actually smell like vomit, which is awesome for a product designed to be used on my nose.
Some days I feel good about myself because guys are checking me out and then I realize I've spilled food on my shirt.
"Honey, c'mere! I found my Excalibur."
--My husband summoning me to share in his awe at a glorious wall of silicone spatulas.
Finally next in line for the bathroom ride.
I'm that grown up who'll still go into a petting zoo even though I don't have any kids.
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