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Today my mom, who's lived in SoCal most of her life (Palm Springs for 3 yrs) posted on FB about an exciting new event out her way: Coachella
Mom just said someone tried to "jew her down" on a price. Fuck. Leave these old people alone for a minute and they pick up bad habits.
Why doesn't anyone wear a Boba Fett motorcycle helmet? I think that would look awesome (on someone else's husband, not mine).
OK Mom, you talk about Janice 15 times a day. You don't have to tell me the story of how you met every time you bring up her name.
I need texting macros so I only have to hit one key to give my mom the response she's looking for.
Dialect quiz. Fun and accurate. I am most like Southern/Central California, least like the Deep South. No s***! http://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2013/12/20/sunday-review/dialect-quiz-map.html?r=82220841080010200008004001010001040j118020020b0008 …
A lot of times I'm just dog furniture.
And I'm privileged for the opportunity.
One 8th-grade girl to another: "What is this 'buck buck' stuff? It's 'bock bock.' Man, you're horrible at making chicken noises."
17 Dog Puns That Will Brighten Your Day. http://www.buzzfeed.com/tanyachen/pun-dog-puns-that-will-instantly-brighten-your-day?s=mobile …
The people waiting in line overnight to buy and then resell a pair of the new Nikes will potentially clear more this week than I do.
"I didn't say anything."
"You're thinking. It's annoying."
I'm not sure if this woman is a genius or an asshole for making her teenage son ask the 99-cent store clerk how much different items cost.
I'm that grown up who'll still go into a petting zoo even though I don't have any kids.