Gonna kick it old school today with some 80s porn and some grill cheese cut up like dinosaurs

I dont think calling a womens cunt a "camel toe" is very nice

Its pretty sad that 90% of my sex life is jerking off to other peoples sex life

Thank god for porno. Without it my only sexual education would be from the naked african women in the national geographic

So a black guy and a jew walk into a bar. I never heard what the bartender said to the black guy or the jew because I instantly left.

"BUNCH OF CUNTS" makes me think of a beautiful bouquet of vaginas

American women really need to start taking the Girth Control pill. This shit is getting outta hand.

I hate girls with pubic hair. Sorry let me rephrase that. I hate girls who can grow pubic hair.

Pet pev... a good tweet wasted by spelling errors. Seriously sucks ass

Im going to fuck your mouth so hard im going to bruise your hangy ball thingy in the back of your throat.

For some reason my computer always needs updates when im jerking off. Then again the only time I use the computer is to jerk off.

That flat chested hooters waitress did not expect my beer to be thrown in her face, but that is what you get!!!

Before getting a blowjob i dip my dick in mouthwash so I can kiss her after shes done

After I rape a woman I say "just another service provided by your friendly neighborhood Spider-Man". It seems to give girls a good laugh.

Your moms cunt is so hairy I nicknamed her pussy Sascrotch

My first sexual experience was a threesome!!!! Myself and two couch cushions :-(

I got fired from sicks kids hospital for using my dick as a rectal thermometer. Anyways they are looking for a new janitor now.

I was banging this hot blonde chick last night and she said my dick looks like a "fwuit woll-wup" haha kids say the dardest things lol

Fucking a white chick in her ass is cleaner then getting a hand job from a black chick.

Im convinced the starving Africa commercials are shot in hollywood. Im actually convinced theres no Africa.