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@johncheese This makes me see you as some kind of supervillain that nobody really has the heart to even try to stop.
@johncheese Anyone that uses St. Patrick's Day as an excuse for literally anything is a colossal guttercunt.
You can eat a dick if you didn't come see @radpackcomedy! @uhwhathuh, @ian_awesome, @nikkitherazor, and @imstevejennings are delightful!
I'd wish @thealexperrault a happy birthday, but I do not believe he was born. He was hewn from a solid block of pure magnificence.
Literally anything written by @ninjasexparty. #SchlongSongs @midnight #boners #buttstuff #dragons #beej #bonersagain #agrothehorse
I'll have steady income again soon. There are Twitch casters that need my subs, and this @wgladstone guy who needs me to buy his book!
Nonconsensual sex on the beach. #BadBooze @midnight
If anyone feels like getting @wgladstone a birthday present, you could always buy his book. I promise it's rad.
@porters May it be watched by billions and billions of people.
Dig Dug Benson #StonerVideoGames @midnight
@twitchpokemon By the time you wake up, we'll have beaten Giovanni, the Elite Four, Bowser, Armored Armadillo, Kraid, and Sephiroth.
@urplepingo Moped mo' problems.
@urplepingo You gonna be at the next Weird Twitter profit share meeting?*Stock portfolio starts breakdancing*
@nikkitherazor I don't know who that is! But yay for autographs! And yay for Andrew!
Yes, internet, *this* is the reason you'll never have sex with Ellen Page.
Big Money. Big Women. Big Fun.
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