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COMEDY EMERGENCY! GET TO TWITTER, STAT!
RANDY NEWMAN TO RELEASE CHRISTMAS ALBUM reports my deepest desires...
Read the SkyMaaaalllllll, when we take offfffff, keep your belt oonnnn and we can laugh together at Skyyyymaaaallll....
Ridley Scott's Prometheus was fantastic! Can't wait for James Cameron's Prometheuses. #fb
The internet is that town from Footloose, the government is the reverend, and the bloggers are Kevin Bacon.
"Angels, we have herb on rye." - the waiter informing the stunt magician's family of the limited sandwich options. THANK YOU, GOOD NIGHT!
I like to call people who like Egg Nog 'Noggers', and people who dislike Egg Nog 'White Supremacists'.
Sister - "if a turtle loses it's shell is it naked or homeless?" mom - "It's dead."
James Franco made an appearance in my dream last night for no reason. Does that dude ever stop working?!
"Look. Russel Crowe looks A LOT like Gerard Butler in his headshot, ANYONE could have made that mistake, OK?!" - Tom Hooper
The club can't even handle me right now. Seriously. Bouncer wouldn't let me in because I could not be handled by it at this time.