Broncos are pretty much grown up Colts, so this pretty much all makes sense.

What number do we text to vote for Obama?

If we can call Justin Bieber "Beebs," can we call Michael Buble "Boobs?"

I'm so hipster, I have a landline. DM me for the #.

It's so embarrassing to show up at Walmart only to discover you are the only one who doesn't know it's pajama day.

If my Mega Millions Lotto ticket wins, how much do you think I could get for it on ebay?

Heredity is contagious in my family.

great stand-up here: “@teamcoco, @eddiepepitone got real at the last Team Coco Live show @ucbtla. http://t.co/udRlQqwU”

I'm so hipster, I watched "This Old House" on PBS before HGTV even existed.

Occam's Razor: Te'o's girlfriend WAS his grandmother. #hardhittingjournalism

Notre Dame brought chicken mcnuggets to a gunfight.

The Red Cross asks us to "do something that means something." Kinda vague, semantically.

Exit polls showing large lead for Romney among voters who self-bedazzled their St. John's Bay jeans.

As goes Meatloaf, so goes the nation.

Good thing Tom Osborne retired so he can coach the #Huskers next year.

Why can't I have a gun in my pocket AND be happy to see you?

The United States is a construction. America is an idea. That is a lamp. I'm a taco salad.

From now on I'm saying teethbrush. "Toothbrush" is for meth heads.

"Ready" is a horrible nickname for a girl, you monster! RT @tigerwoods: "Feeling ready. #masters"

Buckcherry is my favorite Chuck Berry tribute band.