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My dog's my best friend. I know a lot of people say that, but do all of those people choreograph music videos for their best friend?
So I keep missing calls from an inmate in jail...? Do any of you have something to tell me?
The Federal government has failed us... The Sooners have failed us... Our pets heads are falling off...
Hey, Strangers Who Aggressively Use LinkedIn... Yeah, you! That's enough.
Turns out Dave Franco is WAY cuter than James Franco, y'all.
Robin! NO!!! She is a very young girl, and you can always call me if you wanted a misguided 20-something!
Can someone explain to Miley Cyrus what "twerking" is? Also, "singing."
RAN after an ice cream truck after dropping a salad I was eating out of the bag on the ground upon hearing the music. Get in line, new pals.
Almost put a stick of gum in my mouth just now, then I remembered that I'll stop at nothing to keep people from sitting next to me on planes
Error on the side of kindness, you know?