@chelseavperetti My pinky tip got cut off too!! The nail grew back. Check it. pic.twitter.com/K8Q43Or0

"it was so hot right then"-@redban on george washington having slaves

@allthingsbrody is my positive male role model. Just a real dude in a strange world living to improve himself and make people laugh #respect

Cigarettes on Instagram is the number one indication that you're a thirsty bitch

Just got a fleshlight for 50% off plus free shipping plus a free gift at adamandeve.com thanks to @arishaffir! Just enter in the code ari

Handicapped porn star ♿💋🌟 pic.twitter.com/0hsdYBlt3i

Only three months in and this had been the TriPPieSt year of my life

Shark tank is the best reality show on tv

I like to have hotdog eating contests vs myself

Just helped a nice fella at this sandwich shop fix his toaster and he gave me a free sandwich #win

Let's just say I've had about 2000 calories in edibles today

#ff @peteec @redban @joerogan @duncantrussell @arishaffir @madflavor @allthingsbrody @little_esther @samtripoli @tomsegura @christinap

@miguelsolbrotha Kim Jong Sun

I bet the people that leave yelp reviews for McDonalds are fun to chill with

@miguelsolbrotha you're the sweetest guy I know

Joe Rogan has successfully been on a front page AMA all day without answering a single question

All the prudes from my high school turned out to be scandalous drinkers

10 pm filet o filth

Nickelodeon you went downhill when you got rid of rocket power bring that shit back

Having a pre owned jetta also comes with the benefit of the fucking car alarm going off when I open, close, unlock, lock or turn the car on