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If Romney has binders full of women, I highly recommend running the other way when he offers a "three hole punch".
I should probably feel bad for telling the little kid who tripped on the stairs and split his candy, "Batman wouldn't have tripped."
Patriots one again prove they're the NFL's most progressive organization by letting a homeless woman sing the anthem.
99% of the time Mitt sat across the table from someone who was unemployed, he'd just fired the poor sumbitch.
Why do we respect indecision in voting? If they were in front of you at an ice cream stand you'd be screaming "PICK, ASSHOLE!"
NBC, it TOTALLY makes sense for this to be ending at Midnight instead of running from 4-8:30. DO IT FOR THE KIDS!
Tell me what you thought of "Bucky Larson", so I can cross you off the list of People to Ever Talk to Again.
Before you describe yourself as a "sherpa" in your given field, remember that Everest is littered with dead bodies.
I could read these X-Box Live Ban Stories all day: http://is.gd/jm01gf | http://is.gd/vjisy4 (via @whywasibanned)
Multiple senators want this person to be denied a lawyer. If you think that's ok, try to remember you're next.
Fox is now reminding you how Chechnyans are Muslims and a "brutal group of people". That is beyond irresponsible.
Lady behind me tried to turn fact I got carded into a rant about privacy laws getting out of control.
In case I don't know you from FB, Michelle and I are having a baby. So there's that, Internet semi-strangers.
Carmen Ortiz: "Oh, usually they just off themselves. I hadn't thought about it."
My Hero of the Day is the lady being evacuated with her kids who tried to go back in for her phone charger.
Bombs made from pressure cookers, throwing explosives from a moving vehicle; parents were right when I was a kid: cartoons are bad for you
I'm not locked up in here with you. You're locked up in here with me.
