Just realized I was doing this thing wrong.People up here looking for stars.I thought it was all about keeping me out of the mental hospital

My hubby makes fun of me for tweeting, Yet hes been yelling at the TV all day...REALLY?...at least y'all tweet back...

I retweeted some of you and lost a follower ...imagine that...

Do not get upset when you see your ex with another...We were taught as children to give our left over toys to the less unfortunate ...

My butt lights up...Whats your super power?

My dog is posing for porn again...why the hell cant he just lay down like a normal dog?...

My boss said I was insulting a lot of people at work lately...I said at least I can do it in 140 or less...He didn't get it...Dumb Ass...

My husband asked me why I have so many of you activated to my phone?...I just smiled while my phone vibrated non stop between my legs...

He thought I was crying at the flowers, I was crying at the money wasted... We could have got fucked up...

Twinkle Twinkle Little Whore ... Your cheaper than the dollar store...

Can someone just send the people with the straight jackets to my house already?

I have 14 different personalities and not one of them likes me...

Ive said it before,and Ill say it again...I hate the public...Thank you twitter for being so private...

My X-mas tree is held by fishing line and thumb tacks in the wall to keep it upright.It is dysfunctional. It fits my family fine..

What if we could teach the Undead to eat something else besides us?

Um...Could one of you drive me around to see where I left my car at...

For the people I had to deal with today:"Thank you for riding the short bus...and electing me as the driver"...WTF!!!

Don't talk to me about my drinking if you are the reason I drink...

For those of you that are too good to be replied too...Fuck You...And the horse you rode in on ...

Everybody favorites nobody retweets ...How we supposed to find new friends?...I been trying to retweet...Yall so funny...