The Presidential #Debates are happening, which explains why everyone on Twitter is suddenly an expert on macroeconomics and geopolitics.

Well those nine months just FLEW BY, didn't they? Conan on TBS. Monday @ 11/10c. #conanreturns

The first taping of CONAN has officially begun!!! Tune in at 11pm TONIGHT on TBS and witness history! #conanreturns

If a child ever asks you “Why is the sky blue?” tell them it’s because the sky is where smurfs go to die.

"#Gangnam Style" is poised to surpass "Call Me, Maybe" on @youtube as the song most likely to rouse Cthulhu from his ancient slumber.

#LiveCocoCam is streaming for 24 hrs from Team Coco HQ, starting Wednesday @ 1pmET/10amPT. Tune in to the CRAZY! http://bit.ly/9lQKZ8

"banjobanjoBANJOBANJObanjobanjo" - every Mumford & Sons song.

Tonight on #CONAN: @chriscolfer from #Glee, #ParksAndRec's Adam Scott, And Comedian @nikkiglaser TBS 11p/10c

Another AWESOME Team Coco Internet event awaits: #conanshowzero - Nov. 1st @ 11pm ET/8pm PT - PREPARE YOURSELF. http://bit.ly/bg0fbG

Conan wanted lyrics to his opening theme song, so he hired the best guy in the biz to write them: @alyankovic. http://t.co/hcyxsJ4

No one looks presidential sitting on a stool. #debates

If you buy TWO #iPadMini's, you can carry one in each hand and dress up as "Edward iPadHands" for Halloween. Then sit at home, alone.

#VPDebate Cliffs Notes: @joebiden: "Nuh-uh!" @paulryanvp: "Uh-huh!" quid pro quo ad infinitum...

Now that the regular refs are back on the job, the @nfl's replacement refs can return to their usual jobs in Congress.

Watch indie rockers @teganandsara perform their new dance-pop song "Closer" on #CONAN -> http://t.co/J1E4lSfU

Do you like exploding cars, fire, and certain death?! THEN CHECK OUT THE BEST CONAN PROMO EVER: http://bit.ly/aX5Fz2

It's only a matter of time before hipsters try to make abacuses a thing again.

Thanks for taking over our account today, @robdelaney. Time to change the password and unfollow @vaselinebrand

The #iPhone 16 will 3D print link sausages.

You know what would make the #VPDebate interesting? If Biden collapsed into 1,000 tiny Bidens and Ryan turned into a griffin.