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If I died today my epitaph would probably read:
“He was kind of a dick, but he always refilled the reservoir on the Keurig.”
Hey everyone! I’m now doing full-time freelance filmmaking, so if you need any work, or know of an opportunity, please pass it along.
I'm 29 years old and I go to bed at 8:30. Subscribe to this feed for more exciting updates as I learn about Epsom salt and 4pm dinners.
Just went for a five mile run for the first time in six months!
Now I’m laying on the floor chewing Xanax and trying not to throw up.
You had ONE JOB, Showtime. http://screencrush.com/twin-peaks-revival-loses-lynch/ …
Give the man his own island if he wants it.
Accidentally listened to four seconds of Daughtry and now I'm pouring bleach in my ears and trying to throw myself on sharp objects.
Looking to trade some photography/video work for a new computer. Please hit me up or retweet if you can.
I will miss Leslie Knope more than most real people.
Pulp Fiction came out 20 years ago today, which means my parents are probably still mad at me for going to see it in theaters.
This power outage is causing the Ravens to come down off that Charlie Sheen sized coke high they got during half-time.
To the pompous, insufferable jerks: Stop linking the Denver shootings to politics, religion and your own pharisaical belief structure.
Never let yourself be convinced that you’re not worth taking a chance on, worth fighting for or just worth it.
Your story is invaluable.
If I have a child and you buy it a binky with a mustache on it, I will raise it to be a Kung Fu master, solely to beat you senseless.
Can't wait to see everyone's Instagram'ed, blurry, out of focus pictures of fireworks tonight.
19 year old me: "Can't wait to get off work so I can stay up all night!"
29 year old me: "Can't wait to get off work so I can take a nap."
You'd think walking down the office hall singing The Cranberries would receive better reception than "shut-up, shut-up, shut-up you moron!"
Filmmaker, Mercurial Raconteur, Feminist, Sardonic, Bioroid Croatoa. The views and opinions expressed here are my own and do not represent my employer.
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