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Roses are red
Violets are blue
What's your dick like, homie
What're you into
If anyone is on the fence about buying the new Beyoncé, just know there is a song about Jay cumming on her dress. GOODNIGHT.
You guys, I got my dream job.
i want to take all the girls who have a broken heart rn and feed them mac and cheese and champagne.
You have a "Pinterest strategy"? Cool. Now, let me punch you.
New piece up today at @thisrecording. There's a trigger warning on this one (sexual violence). http://thisrecording.com/today/2014/2/6/in-which-we-cant-remember-the-name-of-the-bar.html …
"We want 'poems that kill'...poems that wrestle cops into alleys." - Amiri Baracka
I need to get some gold sheets so I can stunt on people without having to leave my bed.
Just an observation: People who pride themselves on being brutally honest, really get off on the brutality more than the honesty.
Do not ever want to hear any clean version of any song ever. Give me the dirty shit.
I had to clarify with my mother on the phone just now that when I said I was expecting 5-8 inches tonight, I meant snow.
MY MOM’S BOYFRIEND WANTS A JOINT FACEBOOK ACCT. I told her to break up with him.
The real winner is whoever gets to sit on Jon Hamm's beard tonight.
A powerful witch. Essays featured on @thisrecording and @TheHairpin.
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