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Roses are red
Violets are blue
What's your dick like, homie
What're you into
If anyone is on the fence about buying the new Beyoncé, just know there is a song about Jay cumming on her dress. GOODNIGHT.
You guys, I got my dream job.
You have a "Pinterest strategy"? Cool. Now, let me punch you.
New piece up today at @thisrecording. There's a trigger warning on this one (sexual violence). http://thisrecording.com/today/2014/2/6/in-which-we-cant-remember-the-name-of-the-bar.html …
"We want 'poems that kill'...poems that wrestle cops into alleys." - Amiri Baracka
I had to clarify with my mother on the phone just now that when I said I was expecting 5-8 inches tonight, I meant snow.
The real winner is whoever gets to sit on Jon Hamm's beard tonight.
The December issue of Poetry magazine is so good and it is FREE. https://itunes.apple.com/us/app/poetry-magazine/id622718965?ls=1&mt=8 …
Someone on OkCupid sent me a message and confided that he is not much of a wine "carnosaur." Was that some sort of dinosaur?
There's a reason why it's called OkCupid and not AwesomeCupid or 100%AccurateCupid. Remember that.
I have a shit ton of flaws. A LOT. But at least I am not the kind of person who would write a Yelp review about a goddamn subway station.
I'm on 7th Ave near Times Square and a dude dressed as Batman called me beautiful. I will allow it.
Assistant Essays Editor at @The_Rumpus, senior contributor at @thisrecording and essayist. I wear a pocket knife around my neck.