Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
You have a "Pinterest strategy"? Cool. Now, let me punch you.
The real winner is whoever gets to sit on Jon Hamm's beard tonight.
Someone on OkCupid sent me a message and confided that he is not much of a wine "carnosaur." Was that some sort of dinosaur?
There's a reason why it's called OkCupid and not AwesomeCupid or 100%AccurateCupid. Remember that.
You are nobody until someone tells you anonymously on the internet that they hate you.
Let's just all drink a beer and watch some baseball.
Remember Harvey Milk! Shot & killed on this day in 1978. "If a bullet should enter my brain, let that bullet shatter every closet door."
I wish that when I blocked someone on the internet, they also disappeared IRL. I know this sounds like murder, who cares.
3 year old: "I want Isaac to go away."
Me: "Sorry, get used to him. He's your brother forever."
3 year old: "WHAT."
Someone on my Facebook is bragging that her daughter got an award for perfect attendance. Congrats on sending your kid to school.
Pretty sure all of my favorite people are casual alcoholics.
"To be or not to be. Bitch, I might be." - William Shakespeare
"Paul McCartney is replacing Kurt Cobain for a Nirvana reunion." That is the worst sentence I have ever read.
I got drunk one night and decided to follow all the cast members of Real Housewives of New Jersey on Twitter. - My suicide note.
I just remembered earlier today in Times Square this guy said to me "You got a boyfriend? He pouring syrup on you then licking it off?"
Assistant Essays Editor at @The_Rumpus & senior contributor to @thisrecording, playwright and other things.