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Roses are red
Violets are blue
What's your dick like, homie
What're you into
If anyone is on the fence about buying the new Beyoncé, just know there is a song about Jay cumming on her dress. GOODNIGHT.
The reason I think getting rejected from jobs is worse than romantic rejection is none of those dudes I dated were gonna pay my rent anyway.
You guys, I got my dream job.
i want to take all the girls who have a broken heart rn and feed them mac and cheese and champagne.
You have a "Pinterest strategy"? Cool. Now, let me punch you.
I want wine delivery. I deserve wine delivery. I ain't got no wine delivery. GARBAGE
Dreamt a girl said I didn't look good in a dress, so I knocked a box of pasta out of her hands & said "don't ever say that bullshit again"
New piece up today at @thisrecording. There's a trigger warning on this one (sexual violence). http://thisrecording.com/today/2014/2/6/in-which-we-cant-remember-the-name-of-the-bar.html …
"We want 'poems that kill'...poems that wrestle cops into alleys." - Amiri Baracka
I need to get some gold sheets so I can stunt on people without having to leave my bed.
I had to clarify with my mother on the phone just now that when I said I was expecting 5-8 inches tonight, I meant snow.
Just an observation: People who pride themselves on being brutally honest, really get off on the brutality more than the honesty.
This cashier just told an elderly lady to have a nice day & she said, "don't tell me what kind of day to have." Can't wait to be that old
a dear, sweet friend.
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