On tape. RT @bro_pair: Calling it now - Rob Ford suicide. That's how he tops this

@thisalbumsucks @pbshaughnessy For every RT this gets, I will give someone a high five.

I seriously wasn't kidding about this He-Man Christmas special.  http://via.me/-82jed88 

::on floor crying:: RT @bobbybigwheel: Jim Abbott's hand turkey never comes out well http://t.co/NEyBlr3R

@iamhaleyscomet @skipbarts If you combine enough Snapple caps with Magic Hat caps it actually forms the eighth Harry Potter book.

I want to thank the NFL for making it acceptable for me to get completely hammered on Sundays. #SundayFunday

Just noticed my follower count went down by a few. /goes outside to contemplate life. /kicks rocks.

*starts playing air guitar* RT @buzzfeedandrew: Is @horse_ebooks running for president?? http://t.co/8aqkpND0

.@tmz So @justinbieber is at the @phish show tonight in Long Beach. Where was your report on that??

Mini Rainbow Chips Deluxe cookies tempering my anger right now. They will run out eventually, then who knows.

IT'S 6:30 CST. HAVE YOU INSTAGRAMMED YOUR MEAL YET?

Wow. Who dies first? RT @johndory49: Macaulay Culkin moves in with Pete Doherty in Paris.  http://po.st/VIA2gD 

Ksldkdld RT @netw3rk: Once when I was Azerbaijan during the 5th day of Festus Ezeli, I got to watch the annual beating of the shepherd boys.

Derek Fisher heating up means a) Grizz need a timeout and b) Fisher is probably winded.

With an otherworldy display of Twitter game this weekend, @meearf is climbing to the top of my fave Twitter folks.

He's like the @horse_ebooks of people.

Oh great, no gun found on the boat? The false flag nuts are going to have a field day with this. *checks* yep, already started.

@sarahhhhhk Intelligence shines through. Being able to see other viewpoints and not down someone's legit reasons for having them is golden.

One of the weirder bots I've encountered. RT @despairbot RT @tfletch2: Of Despair. RT @jeremydlarson What's your favorite pit?

Wow. Just fucking wow. That moment when you realize you were dating a complete sociopath....