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Really, we're all emotional vampires who just want to suck each other off.
I've had one caramel vodka. This is all the depth I can muster.
My friend's little daughter just described 3D movies as "when the big screen comes in your eyes". I'm trying hard to be an adult about this.
At my friend's 30th....and the younger kids have started 'lang-arming'.
I've lost faith in humanity & also the existence of Jesus. :'(
The catch-22 is my favourite submissive sexual position, where life just dominates/fucks me over.
My sexual prowess? Lol. Let's just say I tried 'eye fucking' someone once...
Still couldn't find the hole.
i said Goddamn, Cape Gate... Why so many mullets?
look, this could be the vodka talking, but everyone on the dancefloor smells like cum.
Between being lyrically deaf & mondegreens, I'm crushing it every time I hear Bruno Mars' "young white girls".
if it wasn't for Google & my little sister, i wouldn't a fuck have been able to boil these Goddamn eggs for the hike this morning.
I'm the product of society. And also of 2 consenting adults unsuccessfully using the 'pull-out' method.
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