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look, this could be the vodka talking, but everyone on the dancefloor smells like cum.
Between being lyrically deaf & mondegreens, I'm crushing it every time I hear Bruno Mars' "young white girls".
if it wasn't for Google & my little sister, i wouldn't a fuck have been able to boil these Goddamn eggs for the hike this morning.
"I lost 8lbs using 'Cape Town Summer™'. All I did was sit & watch the fat/sweat come right off. You can too." - A Climate Change product.
meeting someone you're instantly attracted to & then spending the rest of the night saying stupid shit, is my bailiwick.
my aunt's parrot tried to fuck me this evening. sexually, i'm at a low point, so i'll take what i can get. :/
...also, using words like 'bailiwick'. ;(
I'm the product of society. And also of 2 consenting adults unsuccessfully using the 'pull-out' method.