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Scariest thing about Halloween is how many 'scary slutty girls' were fucking 'scary horny boys' & catching 'scary real' STD's.
To Melrose girls commenting on 'girls standing to lose weight'...reach for your MAC cover up...your cuntiness is showing.
Remember how in '99 we were all "OMG 2 lightsabers are the new single lightsaber" and just wanted to fuck Darth Maul?
Really, we're all emotional vampires who just want to suck each other off.
I've had one caramel vodka. This is all the depth I can muster.
My friend's little daughter just described 3D movies as "when the big screen comes in your eyes". I'm trying hard to be an adult about this.
The thing about Concerta is that I'm still awake. :'/
I also seem to be mentally dissecting my shitty life choices & inability to commit.
At my friend's 30th....and the younger kids have started 'lang-arming'.
I've lost faith in humanity & also the existence of Jesus. :'(
The catch-22 is my favourite submissive sexual position, where life just dominates/fucks me over.
My sexual prowess? Lol. Let's just say I tried 'eye fucking' someone once...
Still couldn't find the hole.
i said Goddamn, Cape Gate... Why so many mullets?
My Origin Story's not that different to most super heroes. My dad came inside my mom. I fight the injustice of pants suits on women.
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