alcohol is the leading contributor to assholeism.

I wish I was wealthy enough to be eccentric instead of crazy.

If a thought is just one sentence it isn't a vision. Just a twittering of what may come.

The only place I've seen where crowd mentality wasn't a problem was at 420 gatherings.

If I were American I'd vote for Ron Paul.

Saying you are "on Twitter" isn't exactly the same as saying you are on drugs, but it might help in some cases.

I am working on a project with @london_420. Follow that, I'll see you. This account will be closed soon.

I called "my" dentist about my toothache.They say they can fit me in, in late June.For an emergency, they suggested I find another dentist.

Years ago it became legal for women to go topless in public in Ontario. Not enough women exercise their rights.

I figure if there is any kind of earth tremor anywhere in the world tomorrow, lots of people are going to flip out.

Happy Friday the 13th. If shit is gonna' happen, today is the day for it.

I need a job. Here's my 3 word resume: I need a job.

People constantly tell me I sound like @normmacdonald , but I believe I am older, so he sounds like me. He is an accomplished impersonator.

With internet down and no Twitter, I now stand in front of my apartment building and comment to random passersby.

Is the Compassion Store open today? If yes, do you have a pass? If yes, can you pick me up a taste? I won't tell anyone.

Advert: Golf lessons $20/hr. Includes 18 holes w/cart. Money back guarantee. #lndont #ldnont RT please your friends may appreciate it.

@otispdq I thought it was Marco Polio. I never wanted to play.

Golf Special: $20 for 3 hour lesson includes 18 holes w/cart. Full refund if not satisfied. Contact me for details. #lndont RT this please.

My son and I both woke up and watched the storm. The flickered enough to knock out his PC, mine was fine. He wants to trade power bars.

My brain has fallen and can't get up.