Dear song writers


No more fucking police sirens in your songs


Stop fucking up my buzz when I'm driving

I hate describing my friends as Gay or Lesbian, it's labeling




I rather say "his house is immaculate" or "she is really good at softball"

I heard someone call themselves "Twitter Elite" I guess that's a better word then "lonely"

Forget "once you go black you never go back"


I say


"For that special occasion go caucasian"

"the best thing about twitter is you can make shit up" Abraham Lincoln

The lady in front of me at Walmart has six kids and is buying a baby gate. I want to tell her you should try putting that on your vagina

If you're going to treat your woman like shit in public~

Be ready for a dude like me to stand up for her and put a foot up your ass

Whom ever decided to stop putting toys in cereal


FUCK YOU

Beauty is rare

There are many pretty,sexy or hot women but not all are beautiful

Beauty is its own category and defined by more then looks

Bullying is horrible


But you also need to teach your kid not to be such a sensitive bitch

If she gives you butterflies don't let her go

I'm so Lucky!!!



I'm always getting head from girls that "Normally don't do this"

Spoiler Alert

That hot chick DMing you is scratching his balls right now

Don't flatter yourself, guys will fuck anything.

Take a minute out of your day to let someone you know that you care about them


Your minute can make their 24hrs

I hate pulling out,,

I rather just change my number

You know you suck at spelling when spell check had no idea what the fuck your trying to spell

If you're not raising your boys to respect women they will never become men

I like that 1 Rap song where they talk about how much money they have

When life closes a door on you,,


Kick that shit down and take what's yours