Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
Summer is like a bad dinner guest this year. It showed up really late and now I can't wait for it to leave.
It smells like napalm or maybe it's palmolive, I always get those two confused.
If I'm not supposed to drink beer in the shower why are there so many cup holders?
A coffee maker that turns on by itself is pretty useless unless it is set up right next to my bed.
It's perfect drinking weather.
I deleted my Facebook account so I guess today wasn't a total waste.
Dropped my mom off at yoga this morning. Everyone there looked like a pretentious asshole.
Where do I sign up?
My ADD does a pretty good job of offsetting my OCD.
Just used yahoo to find the google translator.
I read a tweet about the theme song from full house and my brain played the theme song from friends. What the fuck is wrong with me.
The next time your gf claims she has a headache remind her of all the poor kids in Africa* that won't be having sex tonight.
Is twitter an asylum for schizophrenics? Why else would the people here have multiple accounts and constantly change their name and avi.
Guns n tulips.
I eat girls the same way I eat Oreos. Twist it, lick it, dunk it, bite it.
Katy Perry didn't show any cleavage in her last two videos.
I guess she's tired of being popular or famous or whatever.