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  • theRratedBull
      M. Chad Durham @theRratedBull

    That's so cute that y'all share a Facebook page as a couple. So... which one of you cheated?

    • 225
    • FAVS
    ComposedBedlamStephenBCramerfunnyguyaolbuffy29steve_411kimdmillermAmiigatKingofQueens13
    • 108
    • RETWEETS
    Cuerva77AmiigatCay_JENNidyMommyjacq0lanternjmay459MavenMeridathulnicolle
    zgbettyWonderMonkey78
  • theRratedBull
      M. Chad Durham @theRratedBull

    Dated 8 Jennifers. Used to refer by number. Now go by mental disorder- Jennifer the Neurotic,Jennifer the Bipolar,Jennifer the Psychotic,etc

    • 293
    • FAVS
    StephenBCramerCay_JENjmay459Scdavis24________karateman98scobaxRileyStarshipsmattis276
    • 25
    • RETWEETS
    Cay_JENScdavis24________karateman98RileyStarshipvahsiNJenny4ashleyJack_Wagon1SassyTexasGal
  • theRratedBull
      M. Chad Durham @theRratedBull

    I used to enjoy being mounted reverse-cowgirl style but now that I have a beer belly it's more like reverse-nomad-resting-on-a-camels-hump.

    • 234
    • FAVS
    StephenBCramerbbhairsLakelandrCliffDuffyLaBelleMaeSarahFknAwesomegetoffmyplanetMavenMerida
    • 25
    • RETWEETS
    bonnylee86jenmcbee63Scdavis24________please_Sir_Jenny4ashleyCarpentersCrackDukeOfOyl________grownassedwoman__
    DukeOfOyl________renojenn__________
  • theRratedBull
      M. Chad Durham @theRratedBull

    I just opened a 2009 bottle of Cherry NyQuil® and I’m letting it breathe.

    • 191
    • FAVS
    StephenBCramersovicova_elenamomma0315CarpentersCrackJustUnstableMeSassyTexasGalAspersioncastJaiWalker________
    • 39
    • RETWEETS
    CarpentersCrackSassyTexasGalDadsBigPlansDontLookForMeh___haleyunderratedsethsnotchillinMkjkfitzgeraldStargasmGirl______
  • theRratedBull
      M. Chad Durham @theRratedBull

    I try but it really is hard to have a relationship with my GPS because she is such a cold recalculating bitch.

    • 151
    • FAVS
    StephenBCramerJustUnstableMeAspersioncastjaycesgpaPsycholanelorlorlori________NoLuckWantedkristensauce______
    • 15
    • RETWEETS
    greyeyes66Tuna_LoverCbethriceGreenAyedWunBeautifulVixen1___theMisTMLYatedgphotos__________
    Voiceofgarth
  • theRratedBull
      M. Chad Durham @theRratedBull

    The fact that I only have one testicle has garnered me more followers than charming personality, good looks, or sharp wit ever could.

    • 139
    • FAVS
    StephenBCramerJustUnstableMelorlorlori________NoLuckWantedclean_not_soberocourtneynoJack_Wagon1GreenAyedWun
    • 3
    • RETWEETS
    Powon_Tuna_LoverAvatar_unknown_48
  • theRratedBull
      M. Chad Durham @theRratedBull

    I was rudely awakened last night when a guy living in Southern California decided to open one of those damned biodegradable Sun Chips® bags.

    • 129
    • FAVS
    StephenBCramerJustUnstableMelorlorlori________NoLuckWantedlindseyfrancccoocourtneynocumbersomeoneJack_Wagon1
    • 6
    • RETWEETS
    Tuna_Loverfavstar1000favsGuy_HowdyJennavaline______adurr12Favstar500Favs
  • theRratedBull
      M. Chad Durham @theRratedBull

    Living in Kansas we decided to go over our family safety plans. The kids now know what to do in case of fire, tornado, & zombie apocalypse.

    • 115
    • FAVS
    StephenBCramerJustUnstableMeSassyTexasGallorlorlori________NoLuckWantedocourtneynoJack_Wagon1GreenAyedWun
    • 2
    • RETWEETS
    favstar1000favsFavstar500Favs
    M_WigglesWorth____
  • theRratedBull
      M. Chad Durham @theRratedBull

    I can't move my right shoulder up and down anymore. I was okay with this until I realized this might seriously interfere with my sex life.

    • 103
    • FAVS
    JustUnstableMelorlorlori________NoLuckWantedclean_not_soberocourtneynoJack_Wagon1GreenAyedWunBeautifulVixen1__
    • 3
    • RETWEETS
    favstar1000favsFavstar500Favsderbyjames
  • theRratedBull
      M. Chad Durham @theRratedBull

    Did you just call my name? No? Well I just thought I heard somebody call out Sexy Motherfucker.

    • 93
    • FAVS
    JustUnstableMeSassyTexasGallorlorlori________Powon_NoLuckWantedMBittersweet25Tuna_Loverclean_not_sober
    • 7
    • RETWEETS
    CTrippoSkippy_Anne97Tuna_LoverLipglosslesbojcaterpillarispypandaFavstar500Favs
    ComedianKristi
  • theRratedBull
      M. Chad Durham @theRratedBull

    This is the part of the day when I just wanna go home to my naked wife and find her holding a pitcher of margaritas.

    • 89
    • FAVS
    JustUnstableMeSassyTexasGallorlorlori________NoLuckWantedMBittersweet25FriedaPaulsonTuna_Loverocourtneyno
    • 5
    • RETWEETS
    SassyTexasGalTuna_Lovercmckahuna1knotwholeFavstar500Favs
    renojenn__________
  • theRratedBull
      M. Chad Durham @theRratedBull

    Bitter people who say hateful things to discourage u are assholes but they'd probably have a shit-ton of followers if they took to twitter.

    • 85
    • FAVS
    JustUnstableMelorlorlori________NoLuckWantedJack_Wagon1GreenAyedWunBeautifulVixen1__tjinscotllvvzz
    • 2
    • RETWEETS
    AwhDiddyTweetsFavstar500Favs
  • theRratedBull
      M. Chad Durham @theRratedBull

    I think The Baby is bipolar because one minute she's laughing and the next she's crying.

    • 79
    • FAVS
    JustUnstableMelorlorlori________NoLuckWantedJack_Wagon1stonebug67Cbethriceseanerie1GreenAyedWun
    • 6
    • RETWEETS
    CbethriceGreenAyedWunBeautifulVixen1__JacquelineLeighDylaneasylifeFavstar500Favs
  • theRratedBull
      M. Chad Durham @theRratedBull

    Timing is everything when it comes to comedy, Twitter, and unwanted pregnancy.

    • 78
    • FAVS
    JustUnstableMelorlorlori________NoLuckWantedJack_Wagon1isaacasimoffGreenAyedWunBeautifulVixen1__Oh_its_so_good
    • 5
    • RETWEETS
    isaacasimoffGreenAyedWunsmall_white______Favstar500Favsshanethevein
    shanethevein
  • theRratedBull
      M. Chad Durham @theRratedBull

    Dad called me long distance and asked what I was up to. I said, "I'm in Kansas makin' babies." He said, "Carry on, my wayward son."

    • 79
    • FAVS
    JustUnstableMelorlorlori________NoLuckWantedcumbersomeoneJack_Wagon1BeautifulVixen1__jessicaa1017onedavedeep
    • 4
    • RETWEETS
    Powon_SIPgirl_Favstar500Favsrandumnesschic
  • theRratedBull
      M. Chad Durham @theRratedBull

    A friend predicted I would die all alone, playing Rock Band, drowning in a bottle of bourbon. Ha! Proved him wrong. PS3 is broken, bitch!

    • 75
    • FAVS
    JustUnstableMelorlorlori________NoLuckWantedJack_Wagon1GreenAyedWunBeautifulVixen1__llvvzzMsMamaL
    • 3
    • RETWEETS
    Powon_BeautifulVixen1__Favstar500Favs
  • theRratedBull
      M. Chad Durham @theRratedBull

    My wife and are trying to tweet but she can't get her twitter up. Is it me? Am I doing it wrong? Maybe she just doesn't love me anymore?

    • 71
    • FAVS
    JustUnstableMelorlorlori________NoLuckWantedcumbersomeoneJack_Wagon1GreenAyedWunBeautifulVixen1__llvvzz
    • 2
    • RETWEETS
    Powon_Favstar500Favs
  • theRratedBull
      M. Chad Durham @theRratedBull

    Ever noticed how hourly employees take longer shits than salaried employees?

    • 64
    • FAVS
    JustUnstableMelorlorlori________NoLuckWantedcumbersomeoneJack_Wagon1GreenAyedWunBeautifulVixen1__SIPgirl_
    • 4
    • RETWEETS
    BeautifulVixen1__Favstar500FavsSaraESpiveyrandumnesschic
  • theRratedBull
      M. Chad Durham @theRratedBull

    My wife just texted somebody to ask them their phone number. I swear, sometimes this shit just writes itself.

    • 55
    • FAVS
    JustUnstableMelorlorlori________NoLuckWantedJack_Wagon1GreenAyedWunBeautifulVixen1__jessicaa1017SIPgirl_
    • 12
    • RETWEETS
    mochanyaFavstar500FavsSarahsJokesAhno_its_arnoJayGibbs_MiloKilledPunkBirdFergDArealtrustory
  • theRratedBull
      M. Chad Durham @theRratedBull

    Had a little chat with The Baby last night & laid down the law - she is not allowed to date the baby on the E-Trade® commercials. Bastard.

    • 53
    • FAVS
    JustUnstableMelorlorlori________NoLuckWantedJack_Wagon1GreenAyedWunBeautifulVixen1__llvvzzashgrash
    • 2
    • RETWEETS
    Favstar500Favssmall_white______
@theRratedBull

@theRratedBull

Internet & Automation Cowboy riding the vast ranges of the Chihuahuan Desert.