monday is a horrible way to spend 1/7 of your life

guys, you should really invest in a gay wingman. its like getting a women's conscious to tell them to fuck you.

Oh honey, no amount of makeup is going to fix that face. Good try though

how is it that in some parts of the county its illegal to be gay but nowhere is it illegal to be ignorant

pop tarts, when you don"t love yourself enough for cereal

why is it that all my favorite people only exist in my computer?

so far, the biggest drawback to being gay is that there is no one to make the sandwich

on behalf of the gay community, can the boob / butt avis please at least make them sparkle or surround them with designer somethings. Thanks

i reject your reality and substitute my own

it always nice to look back and see the stars on your tweets. at least someone enjoyed them.

while i wait for new followers, i guess ill just star fuck the shit out of people. get your star condoms ready guys cause here i cum

I like to party I like my Jesus with abs.. Oh yeah, nailed it

"No, I've never heard of it. What's twitter" ~ me to my family...

I am going as a Drunken idiot for halloween. whose with me?

the worlds cruelest irony, once you completely understand women and have mastered the dynamics of straight relationships. God makes you gay

I want a big strong man here and .... Now!!!








Well fuck , that didn't work. Porn it Is

aww, thats cute, you think u have a choice to be my friend. listen bitch, when i say were friend were friends. shut up and enjoy the wine

ever want to know why the "good guy" always win? its cause the winner gets to write the history books.

fridays on twitter:
49% of the tweets are #ff
49% of the tweets are bitching about #ff
& 2% are funny tweets by people who forgot its friday

the best part of equality, is that there are now slutty guy costumes too. i love halloween