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I said to Jesus, "why are there only one set of footprints in the sand?" He said "the sand people walk single file to hide their numbers."
What's more American than a fat person carrying McDonalds and smoking cigarettes? #nothing
My son picks his nose and eats it in plain sight. What's more baller than a 3 year old? I say nothing.
"You can't anger anyone with the truth" - Lies that cartoons tell my children.
When my daughter is a teenager and wants sleep, I am going to wake her up in the middle of the night to tell her random shit as payback.
good grief people are nuts.
My daughter just asked a big goofy looking black man for Biz's Beat of the Day. He laughed because of how enthusiastic she was.
I read someone's twitter profile and in it they called themselves a "amateur blogger". I wasn't aware there was a professional one.
Any time my wife farts, as soon as I look at her, she winks. Every. Time.
I think my imagination is strong enough to beat the shit out of your reality.
I like going to Walmart about as much as I like stuffing things into my urethra.
Artist. Vandal. Father. Husband. Indigenous. Cyclist. Also, I wear Crocs making street art to keep my street cred in check. http://www.greggdeal.com