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I make obscure yet topical pop culture references! Look how funny and clever I am!
Why do different types of liquor exist? They all taste just as shitty.
The road to a revelation is sometimes the most ridiculous.
I accidentally clicked iTunes and had to endure 2 minutes of bouncing until I was able to close it again. #firstworldproblems
Now hold on. In my defense, it is my experience that I am generally correct about most things.