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  • TheBlessMess
      Adie @TheBlessMess

    The hardest part of my day is stopping myself from rolling my eyes and making the jerk-off motion when people talk to me.

    • 1,787
    • FAVS
    DirtyVegas5msdanifernandezashleycremPeterVersion1KittenMcKaymona416HoldMyKittygoog927
    • 980
    • RETWEETS
    brb1213TxMellyloribuckmajorDesireeAHungQwertyJones3eliserose5DoreenwairaDemocraticMomma
    VerifiedDrunkMindBytesquickpooperJTppManNowAPiscesUberPaki__________zxgravityxzBarebakAssassinCaseyMcCollumthatUPSdudenotfaizzyVikeeysSecretSlayerSays________IMBeanzllvvzzz5haeleTHEgoddessRedicupiditydawnofthedead14__OriginalNixsternoogOliverSmiffBuck4it__________Princess_Bop______
  • TheBlessMess
      Adie @TheBlessMess

    Remember ladies, if he doesn't want you, some other fucking loser that you're totally not into will.

    • 1,292
    • FAVS
    deegeemindisteponmecrouchmafrazier15ashleynkellempaigelazarQwertyJones3WildeThingydietredbull
    • 827
    • RETWEETS
    QwertyJones3eliserose5thetobbiertsaliglassbrennertaylorlaguardiaemilykoehnPhinallyHerethatgirlMO
    thetobbiethatstingsHotComesToDieSCbchbumPuddingBoobsCandyWarholerachiecandiceAllTheUglyTruthGuyAdvisor
  • TheBlessMess
      Adie @TheBlessMess

    That one person that makes you feel like a million bucks also has the uncanny ability to make you feel like $1.14 in loose change.

    • 1,331
    • FAVS
    jessi_naeitsallonewordfreespirit72gaVicFutureHoldMyKittymafrazier15paigelazarQwertyJones3
    • 672
    • RETWEETS
    2SPOCK_QwertyJones3kelcbell23roach2207eliserose5Rivercity85SirCasioKL7000HiddleDeeDee
    SharpeBytesMidgetsparJermHimselfishDrThanatosxxprettymuchxeyednpainless____domesticHPuddingBoobsAngrea
  • TheBlessMess
      Adie @TheBlessMess

    Hi, I'm too busy regretting my past to enjoy the present while simultaneously being terrified of the future. Please leave a message.

    • 1,160
    • FAVS
    theevilwriterhard_luck01rabbithole423alexdvernierCaveman_42seefogariellemasurHollyMemphis
    • 688
    • RETWEETS
    OverRitznv7281rabbithole423Caveman_42sophiemareshdaniel_frijolesHollyMemphisQwertyJones3
    VirgoSherryRivercity85CelebrityChezDonnie_FairburnIGotsSmartsUnFitzblondecalamityhipchkk
  • TheBlessMess
      Adie @TheBlessMess

    Saying "agree to disagree" really means "I'm right but you're being an asshole & I'm sick of trying to reason with you."

    • 998
    • FAVS
    steponmecrouchcolemarie13nospeakyoumminpghclowndrogwb24paigelazarQwertyJones3
    • 466
    • RETWEETS
    2SPOCK_colemarie13nospeakyoumminpghchrishouse39QwertyJones3Two_sneaksjnarredondo
    blue292MrsDimiraMaui_SpeaksLABeachmom
  • TheBlessMess
      Adie @TheBlessMess

    I draw dicks on my face every Sunday night so my co-workers think I have a social life.

    • 930
    • FAVS
    aveuaskewadult_keveragevanced5479ovidiusNkoaneDaisyDestinJrock7487spankzappa78DaleInc
    • 360
    • RETWEETS
    adult_keveragecharlieporridgeJimJameson9KatieLaveskivmargajWiseFadaSufficientCharm2SPOCK_
    QwertyJones3FSUSteve__dsmitty_62SeanEmenylarisasaysJonJon_Brownzachreinert03DepecheALAmodeavaricious1One_FineMessimVigDoucheMcBaggusHormonella
  • TheBlessMess
      Adie @TheBlessMess

    Had to have "the sex talk" with my daughter, she was a little overwhelmed so I left out the part about golden showers & donkey punches

    • 1,032
    • FAVS
    LuvPug2SPOCK_nicky_moledoBowlbyThaDonTheAngryMailGuysissy1979xQwertyJones3Jack_Wagon1
    • 177
    • RETWEETS
    BowlbyThaDonTheAngryMailGuyQwertyJones3fuzzlimenikijaybevem3281StarksWeekDranoRaul
    StarksWeek__worley__JonJon_Brownllvvzz
  • TheBlessMess
      Adie @TheBlessMess

    Wow, a selfie giving the finger? Give me your address, I'll send you an Avril Lavigne cd to go with that anger and anarchy.

    • 776
    • FAVS
    SissiSayfreespirit72gamissusKCPastaVersaucygorrr_jessgetdomeBowlbyThaDonpet3ypablo
    • 431
    • RETWEETS
    LoveAllTheMynlyZoneOfSarcasm_emilydwhitegetdomecarliee_babyyQwertyJones3How_HardyvdLYi
    CackleClubanother_lisaCroweJamhurlarious
  • TheBlessMess
      Adie @TheBlessMess

    The best foreplay is laughter.

    • 824
    • FAVS
    allielectricGrundoon67pet3ypabloQwertyJones3TheMichaelRockevem3281JBliggsStarksWeek
    • 277
    • RETWEETS
    girlfrostminxybearQwertyJones3bittychelleevem3281WebbPaganfingervdLYiJBliggs
    Sheila_Mac420bourbonmelikeyblondecalamityFragileFriend____OhNoSheTwitnthappygodrink132_bpmLittleHarmonicatamytoo2Smethanie
  • TheBlessMess
      Adie @TheBlessMess

    I don't forgive or forget, I pretend you're dead. It's easier.

    • 775
    • FAVS
    RoughHandedprofessor_eksallielectricasianlizardSuchaDumbWorldgirlfrostLexeGreyRSF788
    • 325
    • RETWEETS
    2tired2care0_0SuchaDumbWorldgirlfrostbombykol2LexeGreySassyMetalPantsQwertyJones3StarksWeek
    Not_From_TroyThedudishEFFFFFFYOU________PuddingBoobsBurgee66__________OngoingBSinmynewskin
  • TheBlessMess
      Adie @TheBlessMess

    Being right isn't nearly as important as knowing when to shut the hell up.

    • 700
    • FAVS
    shakes31471toyotaman1988mafrazier15QwertyJones3TheMichaelRockspudtotnfrymompennywise4121StarksWeek
    • 328
    • RETWEETS
    CrankyNaynayshakes31471Dramione_is_OTP2tired2care0_0allielectric5tefneQwertyJones3StarksWeek
    nativerogueSilentMusings2DavidOzmunddaddyville
  • TheBlessMess
      Adie @TheBlessMess

    I used to be worried about people at work finding my Twitter, until I watched them fuck up trying to send a fax.

    • 809
    • FAVS
    SissiSayashleynkellemmafrazier15allielectrictextas0371girlfrostRachologyQwertyJones3
    • 218
    • RETWEETS
    CrankyNaynayQwertyJones3DoctorPhilOsTwo_sneaksevem3281TheNewDomShowStarksWeekCatfishGoneWild
    JustASmirkRossRants
  • TheBlessMess
      Adie @TheBlessMess

    I don't need anger management, everyone else needs to man the fuck up.

    • 618
    • FAVS
    SissiSaymkesquiremissusKCricowallacejennanoestaallielectricBowlbyThaDonhraselbd
    • 305
    • RETWEETS
    hraselbdTrAPP_STAR_TATTQwertyJones3writtenwords172kapils2116AmyLastNameHerescottsuperman24sweetg35
    Two_sneaks0hJuliettedjr_102_FitsNShits
  • TheBlessMess
      Adie @TheBlessMess

    Find something you love to do. Now find a totally unrelated job to survive and pay the bills.

    • 591
    • FAVS
    divadeb99ScourfieldSophmortega00SissiSayknownAsDickconorc8913spenceriDaleeeO
    • 326
    • RETWEETS
    divadeb99knownAsDickCtotheASSshakeygeckoskpowerGriffzzonitayloralves13MaddyDell
    Hormonella
  • TheBlessMess
      Adie @TheBlessMess

    In an alternate universe there's a kitten in a cubicle looking at a poster of me trying to do a chin-up that says "Just Give Up."

    • 626
    • FAVS
    silent_musingsHollyMemphismoshankemonicasjunglecatcervenyWildeThingyeshurnecloudypianos
    • 262
    • RETWEETS
    hanainwonderlndKid_PastamonicasjungleLMHPhotogIts_AzorHappyPlaceProwriting4kixminnie_in_pink7
    CVTBabyJaySaysStuffaveuaskew
  • TheBlessMess
      Adie @TheBlessMess

    I just saw a bus that you would look amazing under.

    • 550
    • FAVS
    wishfullyrealLightCarnivalkaysus2012dietredbullWildeThingyNSorgenfreyLosingLikeABossfontfighter
    • 288
    • RETWEETS
    BrutalParagonLosingLikeABossDanny_McH2OMaybe2memichelle819801archerenemySuspiciousMjimmy2xswagg
    Kori_OkieCroweJam
  • TheBlessMess
      Adie @TheBlessMess

    If you want to get over your sexual attraction to someone, get to know them.

    • 577
    • FAVS
    Twobit333Two_sneaksTheMichaelRockloops888kroger1205LesTravoldkimt205starfish19673
    • 184
    • RETWEETS
    StarksWeekSamarthBalikrishna_vanLamommyangieRealShaughnpiercetheblehhhVenusFlyTrapzPinchySniper
    PeachyiskBlazedDonuts______wheatnik
  • TheBlessMess
      Adie @TheBlessMess

    Alcohol is never the answer but it's an excellent guess.

    • 484
    • FAVS
    SissiSaymichelleeadamsColoChiverknownAsDickgeniusindisgizeBeadles_Needlesprewitt_22PaigeKellerman
    • 244
    • RETWEETS
    knownAsDickgranmabonnieCrimsonCommandoPollypoptartpete2ndbestbradcrogersMissyHedgehoggaston_marian
    WildeThingyDanDoofus
  • TheBlessMess
      Adie @TheBlessMess

    I was worried about my son going to a party until I realized he wouldn't know what to do with a girl unless her vagina was a joystick.

    • 585
    • FAVS
    TheMichaelRockbluemelody84evem3281Lupster17StarksWeek__worley__CVTBabykrishna_van
    • 129
    • RETWEETS
    evem3281StarksWeek__worley__krishna_vanKidBeatnix______RealShaughnVenusFlyTrapzOhemgeestephg
    JonJon_BrownOhNoSheTwitntBrianMongoldBuck4it__________renojenn__________
  • TheBlessMess
      Adie @TheBlessMess

    Why do we only crave what's bad for us? Alcohol, deep fried food, sex with strangers. You never hear anyone say "I'd kill for some carrots."

    • 545
    • FAVS
    Two_sneaksTheMichaelRocklarriloospudtotnfrymombluemelody84StarksWeekCVTBabyHeyZeus666
    • 168
    • RETWEETS
    spudtotnfrymomevem3281StarksWeekKidBeatnix______RealShaughnhyperclean321AnilMohanlalKystify
@TheBlessMess

@TheBlessMess

Den mother of the disenfranchised