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  • TheBlessMess
      Adie @TheBlessMess

    The hardest part of my day is stopping myself from rolling my eyes and making the jerk-off motion when people talk to me.

    • 1,791
    • FAVS
    sixfootcandyms_woodsyBwanaChrisGloGurLDirtyVegas5msdanifernandezashleycremPeterVersion1
    • 980
    • RETWEETS
    brb1213TxMellyloribuckmajorDesireeAHungQwertyJones3eliserose5DoreenwairaDemocraticMomma
    VerifiedDrunkMindBytesquickpooperJTppManCamusOverEasyUberPaki__________zxgravityxzBarebakAssassinCaseyMcCollumthatUPSdudenotfaizzyVikeeysSecretSlayerSays________IMBeanzllvvzzz5haeleTHEgoddessRedicupiditydawnofthedead14__OriginalNixsternoogOliverSmiffBuck4it__________Princess_Bop______
  • TheBlessMess
      Adie @TheBlessMess

    Remember ladies, if he doesn't want you, some other fucking loser that you're totally not into will.

    • 1,405
    • FAVS
    nlutherTripleJnSyourcatastrophyFlexsteelrodU_Lookedfunnyguyjeffswarenssheschi
    • 895
    • RETWEETS
    ShireenAdrianFlexsteelrodsheschiblakeezyyRuth_less101danielle_0827hyperblastchicLauren_Smiles_L
    Tinkerbell_thetobbiethatstingsHotComesToDieSCbchbumPuddingBoobsCandyWarholerachiecandiceAllTheUglyTruthGuyAdvisor
  • TheBlessMess
      Adie @TheBlessMess

    That one person that makes you feel like a million bucks also has the uncanny ability to make you feel like $1.14 in loose change.

    • 1,340
    • FAVS
    plausiblyrebornfaithinajarLeandri_DUnaHendryAdeelStunnerrndhouseHelloOElaine_IRON_BUNNY
    • 675
    • RETWEETS
    _Truth_AcheavonstairsqueenBwanaChris2SPOCK_QwertyJones3kelcbell23roach2207eliserose5
    SharpeBytesMidgetsparJermHimselfishDrThanatosxxprettymuchxeyednpainless____domesticHPuddingBoobsAngrea
  • TheBlessMess
      Adie @TheBlessMess

    Hi, I'm too busy regretting my past to enjoy the present while simultaneously being terrified of the future. Please leave a message.

    • 1,187
    • FAVS
    FlyOnTheWa11Drun_KenmanTeenyTwoTimeskimdelieBeechGurl63abhorrent_wifeLouie5309RageMichelle
    • 707
    • RETWEETS
    MikeTalonNYCRageMichelleTheSchnizzyFlexsteelrodStewieJohnstonetealandpurpleAlexMorelli123DanielRCarrillo
    DanielRCarrilloVirgoSherryRivercity85CelebrityChezDonnie_FairburnIGotsSmartsUnFitzblondecalamityhipchkk
  • TheBlessMess
      Adie @TheBlessMess

    Saying "agree to disagree" really means "I'm right but you're being an asshole & I'm sick of trying to reason with you."

    • 1,015
    • FAVS
    AngelaEhhralph0world_PBody__OutOnTheMoorsnadeshaenochMindiILeachJRT_91bobbymfbrown
    • 476
    • RETWEETS
    petesfirstmateqweenamemarieaskirachyrooster87duhhneemerican_ninjyOne_FineMesssassyassbella
    blue292MrsDimiraMaui_SpeaksLABeachmom
  • TheBlessMess
      Adie @TheBlessMess

    Find something you love to do. Now find a totally unrelated job to survive and pay the bills.

    • 878
    • FAVS
    DontTouchMyWineSerialFuckupRichHarris2gouravmalhotraCrookCountyREsilent_musingsbrightredshinyh_alvis
    • 485
    • RETWEETS
    HamzaPattersoncolo_luv_angelJohnnyRlchardsS_SL8Kwood1007dontfollowme13xMattFormaPreeityVerma
    Hormonella
  • TheBlessMess
      Adie @TheBlessMess

    I draw dicks on my face every Sunday night so my co-workers think I have a social life.

    • 931
    • FAVS
    sixfootcandyaveuaskewadult_keveragevanced5479ovidiusNkoaneDaisyDestinJrock7487spankzappa78
    • 361
    • RETWEETS
    AndLive2Loveadult_keveragecharlieporridgeJimJameson9KatieLaveskivmargajWiseFadaSufficientCharm
    QwertyJones3FSUSteve__dsmitty_62SeanEmenylarisasaysJonJon_Brownzachreinert03DepecheALAmodeavaricious1One_FineMessimVigDoucheMcBaggusHormonella
  • TheBlessMess
      Adie @TheBlessMess

    Had to have "the sex talk" with my daughter, she was a little overwhelmed so I left out the part about golden showers & donkey punches

    • 1,034
    • FAVS
    sixfootcandyProf_PeejayLuvPug2SPOCK_XQIr9lgXaHSUXQDBowlbyThaDonTheAngryMailGuysissy1979x
    • 177
    • RETWEETS
    BowlbyThaDonTheAngryMailGuyQwertyJones3fuzzlimenikijaybevem3281StarksWeek__DranoRaul
    StarksWeek__Gobshite_JonJon_Brownllvvzz
  • TheBlessMess
      Adie @TheBlessMess

    Wow, a selfie giving the finger? Give me your address, I'll send you an Avril Lavigne cd to go with that anger and anarchy.

    • 777
    • FAVS
    Prof_PeejaySissiSayfreespirit72gamissusKCPastaVersaucygorrr_jessgetdomeBowlbyThaDon
    • 431
    • RETWEETS
    69shadesoftaarLoveAllTheMynlyZoneOfSarcasm_emilydwhitegetdomecarliee_babyyQwertyJones3How_Hardy
    CackleClubanother_lisaCroweJamhurlarious
  • TheBlessMess
      Adie @TheBlessMess

    Just talked to an old friend about the crazy shit we used to do when we were on gluten.

    • 797
    • FAVS
    CletusHammerLeslieAMLgoodbygearJesseabeltencatmansionJane___JonesWittySassBasketvlowgoes
    • 385
    • RETWEETS
    voodoomojostufflitfirebirdLeslieAMLtencatmansioncabbieBotWittySassBasketvlowgoesMrBillEvans
    1BigMickJessObsessCtotheASS
  • TheBlessMess
      Adie @TheBlessMess

    The best foreplay is laughter.

    • 826
    • FAVS
    Prof_PeejayFatimashakeel5allielectricGrundoon67pet3ypabloQwertyJones3TheMichaelRockevem3281
    • 277
    • RETWEETS
    girlfrostminxybearQwertyJones3bittychelleevem3281WebbPaganfingervdLYiJBliggs
    Sheila_Mac420bourbonmelikeyblondecalamityFragileFriend____OhNoSheTwitnthappygodrink132_bpmLittleHarmonicatamytoo2Smethanie
  • TheBlessMess
      Adie @TheBlessMess

    I don't forgive or forget, I pretend you're dead. It's easier.

    • 776
    • FAVS
    Prof_PeejayRoughHandedprofessor_eksallielectricasianlizardSuchaDumbWorldgirlfrostLexeGrey
    • 325
    • RETWEETS
    2tired2care0_0SuchaDumbWorldgirlfrostbombsydollLexeGreySassyMetalPantsQwertyJones3StarksWeek__
    Not_From_TroyThedudishEFFFFFFYOU________PuddingBoobsBurgee66__________OngoingBSinmynewskin
  • TheBlessMess
      Adie @TheBlessMess

    Being right isn't nearly as important as knowing when to shut the hell up.

    • 700
    • FAVS
    shakes31471toyotaman1988mafrazier15QwertyJones3TheMichaelRockspudtotnfrymompennywise4121StarksWeek__
    • 328
    • RETWEETS
    CrankyNaynayshakes31471Dramione_is_OTP2tired2care0_0allielectric5tefneQwertyJones3StarksWeek__
    nativerogueSilentMusings2DavidOzmunddaddyville
  • TheBlessMess
      Adie @TheBlessMess

    I used to be worried about people at work finding my Twitter, until I watched them fuck up trying to send a fax.

    • 810
    • FAVS
    Prof_PeejaySissiSayashleynkellemmafrazier15allielectricSuperJuanderergirlfrostRachology
    • 218
    • RETWEETS
    CrankyNaynayQwertyJones3DoctorPhilOsTwo_sneaksevem3281TheNewDomShowStarksWeek__CatfishGoneWild
    JustASmirkRossRants
  • TheBlessMess
      Adie @TheBlessMess

    I don't need anger management, everyone else needs to man the fuck up.

    • 620
    • FAVS
    sixfootcandyProf_PeejaySissiSaymkesquiremissusKCricowallacejennanoestaallielectric
    • 305
    • RETWEETS
    hraselbdTrAPP_STAR_TATTQwertyJones3writtenwords172kapils2116AmyLastNameHerescottsuperman24sweetg35
    Two_sneaks0hJuliettedjr_102_FitsNShits
  • TheBlessMess
      Adie @TheBlessMess

    In an alternate universe there's a kitten in a cubicle looking at a poster of me trying to do a chin-up that says "Just Give Up."

    • 643
    • FAVS
    pricecody19mstuckingslisaxy424CantBeTheWalrusCottonKatherineLKandallsixfootcandybayleyscrayley
    • 270
    • RETWEETS
    tommy2point0PurrVidaklingonfeministsar182ahdebbiewolvenDanielRCarrillosamstokkers86Shelby409
    CVTBabyJaySaysStuffaveuaskew
  • TheBlessMess
      Adie @TheBlessMess

    I just saw a bus that you would look amazing under.

    • 551
    • FAVS
    llvvzzzProf_PeejayashleyklejnawishfullyrealLightCarnivalkaysus2012dietredbullWildeThingy
    • 288
    • RETWEETS
    ashleyklejnaBrutalParagonLosingLikeABossDanny_McH2OMaybe2me3rd_darkangelarcherenemySuspiciousM
    Kori_OkieCroweJam
  • TheBlessMess
      Adie @TheBlessMess

    If you want to get over your sexual attraction to someone, get to know them.

    • 577
    • FAVS
    Twobit333Two_sneaksTheMichaelRockloops888kroger1205LesTravoldkimt205starfish19673
    • 184
    • RETWEETS
    StarksWeek__SamarthBalikrishna_vanLamommyangieRealShaughnpiercetheblehhhVenusFlyTrapzPinchySniper
    PeachyiskBlazedDonuts______wheatnik
  • TheBlessMess
      Adie @TheBlessMess

    No one tell those 50 Shades of Grey enthusiasts about porn. There'd be a suburban sexual revolution and kids would miss soccer practice.

    • 479
    • FAVS
    christinawilderjess_strattonjill_offChadlyn13_02SethKinderBlondAmbitionTOadilahmed92TheRealKidKash
    • 251
    • RETWEETS
    TheRealKidKashReaders84emery_kayeTheMichaelRockShaistaJustinlisaandtotskantstoplifeSlyyDog_
    Canadian_HoserJuan_IncognitoPaxochkaHoneyUnhingedMoistPork
  • TheBlessMess
      Adie @TheBlessMess

    Alcohol is never the answer but it's an excellent guess.

    • 485
    • FAVS
    llvvzzzProf_PeejaySissiSaymichelleeadamsColoChiverknownAsDickgeniusindisgizeBeadles_Needles
    • 244
    • RETWEETS
    onlystacyknownAsDickgranmabonnieCrimsonCommandoPollypoptartpete2ndbestbradcrogersMissyHedgehog
    WildeThingyDanDoofus
@TheBlessMess

@TheBlessMess

Pussyocalypse