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Just saw five old ladies in pant suits and scarves in front of a restaurant and for two seconds I thought it was Aerosmith. It wasn't.
If I don't give a fucking shit about the Oscars, just imagine what I think of you tweeting them.
Hey everyone, quit dying. I hate it!
Snakes on a Plane on AMC.Why? "I'm tired of these monkey fighting snakes on this Monday to Friday plane" I'm laughing like a monkey fighter.
Anyone else beating off to the song "America, Fuck Yeah!"?
I was just trying to "be positive" about something, but that fucking bullshit never works.
That new Carcass album will rip your dick off and make you eat it... And you'll say "more dicks please". Or it's just okay, I can't decide.
Fucking fuck!! Really? Funny little guy! RIP Harris Wittels.
All I'm wearing is a butcher's apron and a hard-on. What are you wearing?
comedian, actor, writer, giant idiot
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