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Just saw five old ladies in pant suits and scarves in front of a restaurant and for two seconds I thought it was Aerosmith. It wasn't.
If I don't give a fucking shit about the Oscars, just imagine what I think of you tweeting them.
Man, guess I dodged a boring bullet. Coldplay, Beyoncé and Bruno Mars? That's a whole lot of I don't give a shit.
Hey everyone, quit dying. I hate it!
Snakes on a Plane on AMC.Why? "I'm tired of these monkey fighting snakes on this Monday to Friday plane" I'm laughing like a monkey fighter.
At OHare, just heard a dude moaning and breathing heavily in a bathroom stall. He must be terrible at shitting.
I was just trying to "be positive" about something, but that fucking bullshit never works.
How those old guys at Wrestlemania still perform, I have no idea. If I even did Shane O Mac's entrance dance I'd need a week long nap.
Check out the BRUTAL new @Anthrax video for BLOOD EAGLE WINGS, one of my favorite new songs. #ForAllKings
comedian, actor, writer, giant idiot
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