Ack! It is NOT a Frankenstorm! It is Frankenstein's Monstorm. Come on!

@progressive Question: Did Progressive's in-house attorney Jeffrey R. Moffet assist the defense? Yes or no?

Is it dead dead? Or super villain dead? Because if we go six months and he comes back, I'm gonna be annoyed.

Best NYTimes correction ever. http://t.co/DBf29mn

Old McDonald had no breeding pairs.

Are there so many Attilas that we need to specify that we are talking about the one that is a Hun?

Your dreams. #FF

I plan to name my kids Qwerty and Asdfgh, just so it'll be easy to type.

Nov 15th. Bosco (@adambozarth, @actuallycurtis and myself) in 3on3. Against a lot of powerhouses.

Of course you are not afraid of NO ghosts. Who'd be afraid of the lack of ghosts?

Six Flags Great Adventure's new coaster is called The Stand Up Coaster. Sadly it's a bringer.

On top of Mount Rushmore. Where are all the bands? #nxnw

That free disaster you got for pre-ordering SimCity was the launch of SimCity.

@nicolebyer - "No! This is not a college!" (to @alanstarzinski)

Rumor is @barackobama also has some zingers planned for tonight. But they're called "facts."

Be outraged. Be outraged every damn day.

Went to buy furniture at IKE$HA and... I'm already tired of this joke.

50 Shades of the Grey - A woman’s sexual awakening at the hands of Confederate army.

You took the stairs? Now how the hell is anyone else supposed to get down?

I'm kinda nervous to go to an improv show now. So many hoodies.