Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
Reaped the full advantages of being a woman, when I heard a stripper fart in the bathroom of a strip club tonight.
By the time a person sees a tv commercial on tv and says it's "annoying", the creative team has already viewed it well over 4,300 times.
I wish I hated my dad enough to participate in #SideBoobSunday
I'm not calling you a liar, Sara Barellis, but I've never heard of a guy wanting a love song.
Like, ever ever.
When the lights go out, of course the people from SF cum from behind.
Karl Rove, Donald Trump, & Victoria Jackson are all throwing temper tantrums cause the rebels somehow managed to blow up a 2nd Death Star.
Congratulations today, you've officially made me dead inside.
I just ate an entire pizza, so I won my own personal Hunger Games.
It's ok Lance, I've lied about being on drugs to my mom too.
I wonder who's drunker, Chicago or Diane Sawyer...
Regardless of how today nets out, my hair looks fucking dope.
Watching a man try on my eyeglasses is not nearly as sexually arousing as watching one try on my underwear.
Maintained being a professional for 4 hours today, now I'm gonna eat 2 double doubles.
Don't you fucking look at me. *slams burger in face
The best thing about the frat bar I'm in is nothing.
Fact: The private bits on us gingers all taste like pumpkin spice flavor.
Someone be my boyfriend now.
I've been pepper-sprayed exactly one time. Thanks, Grandpa.