@thedayhascome's (Josh Hopkins) most faved Tweets...
You can tell a lot about a person by their shoes and how they arrange their underwear drawer.
You have a lovely home, by the way.
You have a lovely home, by the way.
Someone with a knife exactly like the one I'm holding in my hand ruined my neighbor's inflatable Christmas lawn decorations.
After 46 days in the hospital, Lucy's heart is fixed and she's finally home, right where she belongs. http://bit.ly/4pcjyH
I don't understand the Starbucks ordering language, so I just point at the menu and shout like a monkey.
Too cold to take the baby for a walk, so I put her on the treadmill instead and boy she was really keeping up there for a while.
Halloween gives every woman an excuse to dress like a whore, except for my wife, who suddenly has values.
Dinner was awful, so I asked to speak to the manager and that's when my wife came at me with a kitchen knife, Your Honor.
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