@thejohnblog's (John ) most faved Tweets...
Wife called me immature before she left for work. She’ll regret that when she comes home and I won't let her in my sweet Couch cushion fort.
CNN: Obama calls for "respect" in Iran. Somewhere, Aretha Franklin stops mid feeding, tilts her head, whispers "I'm needed," and disappears.
Whatever. If McCain was President he would be on top of his desk right now scared and mystified by the Oval Office's ROOMBA.
My son said he got a gold star for Math at school. I told him I got ten for a stupid LENO tweet. Hope he stops crying soon.
He has chores.
He has chores.
HIM: “Jeez… are you on TWITTER , like, ALL the time?”
ME: “Dunno,’ is your mom named Twitter?
HIM: “What?!”
ME: “Nothing, Boss.”
ME: “Dunno,’ is your mom named Twitter?
HIM: “What?!”
ME: “Nothing, Boss.”
For 'National Coming Out Day' I'll be standing outside Kevin Spacey's house with crossed arms and a raised eyebrow.
Last night my wife wanted help with laundry. I said I don't DO "women's work." I followed that with "Not the face!" and "Ow!"
My Mom's visiting. I'm 33 and wish she would treat me like an adult and watch me cause I'm doing a handstand and MOM! YOU'RE NOT WATCHING!
Just tried Nutella for first time. I am now trying to figure out how much of it I need to buy to fill up the bathtub, so I can sleep in it.
My 11yr old son texted I LOVE YOU to no less than 3 girls simultaneously. Not sure if I should lecture him or buy his first smoking jacket.
The best way to ruin Thanksgiving? Everytime you eat a fork full of corn, loudly proclaim: "See you soon!"
70 years ago, Canada declared war on Nazi Germany. Aw, that's cute. Reminds me when my 3 yr. old kicked my legs screaming "I dont like you!"
Hey! Just met the singer of Puddle Of Mud! He seemed embarrassed that I recognized him, but he totally gave me extra fries!
To celebrate the fall of the Berlin Wall, I dressed like Kool-Aid Man. Some of you don't get it, others are going "Oh, yeah!"
Palin is coming to Dallas. What has two thumbs and plans on getting a pic with her, while wearing an "I'M WITH STUPID" shirt?
I remember changing my niece's diapers. Now she wants to wash her clothes on Taylor Lautner's abs. They grow creepy so fast.
My nieces squealed when I shouted "Who's up for a certain sequel starring a WEREWOLF?!" Now they're pissed, JUST cause I rented TEEN WOLF 2.
Its Lance Armstrong's Birthday! Tonight, I hope he has a ball. (You're right, that was uncalled for, don't get teste with me)
Tip: To have your favorites shown faster, follow @favstar