Currently on our way to @pghhouseofdead. @caseyr82 hates driving in the city. Keeps nattering on about his need for a "comfort pretzel."

My Valentine from @caseyr82 pic.twitter.com/Wbsp1oDb

@caseyr82 YOU'RE WELCOME! Love, YOUR wife, the English major.

Me: For your weedwacker I shall trade a half-empty bag of sugar & this pairing knife. Mom: Those are both mine. Me: You're welcome!

"...then a monk said, 'That's no way to treat a dead Pope!' So he tied rocks to the body & threw it in the river."---History by @caseyr82

Told my mom that I was going to see @peteholmes tomorrow night. She asked, "Is he like Joel Osteen, but for the other side?" Perfect.

"I'm gonna yak down your shirt before this game is over."-- @caseyr82. So seriously, #LetsGoPens !!!

To @caseyr82 //RT @jaspauldial I can think of a #Pens goalie who not only makes big saves but also foils terror plots pic.twitter.com/Wke3Fs3oyb

Islanders fans should sober up before they attempt a chant as complicated as "Princess Crosby." Who just shook off a puck to the throat btw.

"Crosby's a total diver, man! This is Crosby:"
 http://youtu.be/k4qOKybOKXs 

@caseyr82 Unfollowed x 1000

Took a pic of @caseyr82 freshly shorn b/c soon I'll probably chase him from our yard afraid he'll pick through our garbage. #NHLplayoffbeard

Pretty sure I'm the best worst person. pic.twitter.com/iJvaQ8ubYx

@caseyr82 Do other guys get stabbed by a fiery trident & pushed down a well? (I <3 you)

@caseyr82 "Even though I'm reading this upside down, & also cats can't read, I still think you're doing this wrong." #grumpycat

@caseyr82 Did an eagle perch on your shoulder as you typed this tweet?

Still not ready to be a parent, probably. pic.twitter.com/F15E0m1atR

Some dummy rear-ended me & I had to get a rental. So now on top of everything else, I have to paint a wizard on the side of this van.

@caseyr82 I've heard they're creepy & they're kooky, mysterious & spooky. Just rumors, though.

We're 10 minutes removed from #TheWalkingDead finale and @caseyr82 hasn't stopped swearing.