@tylonol forgit 2 tek tylonol? tyolonol

You can tell when everyone's drunk because they're all forgetting to suck in their stomachs

up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, b, a, start #safetytipsforladies

Vin Diesel reading the #VinDieselSunday feed, tears glistening on his moisturized cheeks. "Who is Vin Diesel" he whispers

AUGH

Atchison discovers this new idea called "food trucks" #yxecc

Still on hold. You know what's maddening? Listening to a recording talk about how efficient their courier service is...for seven minutes.

The nice part about being in a relationship is that everything is half-price. The bad part is that you have to share.

Just saw someone do two dangerous maneuvers to try and beat the train. Watch out for silver Acura sedan on 42nd or north industrial #yxe

You can't spell "snow" without "no". Or "now" or "won" or "sow" hey look a boggle game

meanwhile, in #xye, business owners are falling all over themselves to pay more to the city to improve services, and it's +15 degrees out.

This is a terrific, terrific read, about "givers" and productivity (from last week, but still good)  http://www.nytimes.com/2013/03/31/magazine/is-giving-the-secret-to-getting-ahead.html?hpw&_r=1&pagewanted=all& …

I dare you to read this and not cry:  http://www.buzzfeed.com/expresident/stories-that-prove-animals-have-souls …

@nonosimprov oh, and Joffrey. Joffrey eats Cheezies.

@nonosimprov people who eat cheezies: Nickelback, Jim Flaherty, racists, people who do not use their turn signal, and my boss.

@nonosimprov they are bitter, tasteless lumps completely devoid of any taste or charm, much like certain people

@nonosimprov cheezies are fit only to be ground up and applied to no-parking curbs

While you're mixing your drinks for yxecc tonight, you should read the epic GoT pun battle I had with @nonosimprov earlier today.

@nonosimprov There is nothing I can do Varys your determination to Tully my reputation. I Martell you the rest of my puns some other Tywin.

@nonosimprov I Myrcella you, I am not to be trusted.