How dare you participate in real life! Get back here.

I make no apologies for the person I am. I'm me. And I don't force anyone to be around.

Take me as I am. Or leave me where you found me.

Some journeys are difficult.

Even if you are strong enough.

Please read. Books are good.

Alrighty! Shit, showered, n well I don't shave everyday. Now let's get some caffeine and make this day my BITCH!

Do m&ms melt between your boobs? We're gonna find out if I keep dropping them...

Stopping the phone charge at 69%.
Just because.

I love how there's no judgment on twitter. #wheresthatsarcasmfont?

Beer.





(Star it. You know you want to.)

People wonder why I don't go out more often. It's because there are a bunch of fucking idiots out there. #saferinthehouse

So in packing for this trip, I discovered the following:

All of my underwear says I'm not getting laid.

I really really hate drivers who refuse to use the acceleration lane for it's purpose. Who the fuck merges at 40mph?

People not on twitter have a hard time understanding how meeting someone you met on twitter isn’t really meeting them for the first time.

This whole waking up thing is overrated.

It is almost 2012, y'all. There is no room in a global society for bigoted intolerance. Evolve already.

Something to be said for licking warm cream cheese out of a bagel...

Alright. Time for a shower. Who wants to join me?

Showers are always more fun with two...

There is such a thing as too much waiting.

Of course I'll lick you clean... It's only polite.

Oh twitter... With your strange and obnoxious server issues...