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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was Jadeveon Clowney
if you’re sad about being alone on valentine’s day just remember nobody loves you on any other day of the year
a yawn is a silent scream for coffee.
"You are the finest, loveliest, tenderest, and most beautiful person I have ever known- and even that is an understatement."
I think anyone who uses the term YOLO should prove it by killing themselves.
never make fun of a fat girl with a lisp… she's probably thick and tired of it
I bet Billy Mays is partying like it's $19.99
"I was born with an enormous need for affection and a terrible need to give it." -audrey
RIP 2012 :( 2012-2012
If I were dating myself, I would surprise myself with Starbucks every morning and it would be adorable.
Grumpy cat is the one cat I do like... But I don't like him as a cat, I like him as a grump
"Taylor Swift is like a velociraptor, if she senses movement, she dates it"
I might as well call you Bridge to Terabithia because you make children cry
Coffee is like a Christian. Once it's lukewarm it tastes terrible!
Bro, you're creepiness is NOT ACCEPTABLE
What if my love life is a disaster because I didn't forward those chain emails in seventh grade?
The trash gets taken out more than me.
I JUST WANT TO LIE IN BED AND WATCH MOVIES ALL DAY. IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK FOR?!
And it’s OUR job to tell every Diane to shut up. #TeamElan http://storify.com/EliLanger/this-man-is-hilariously-live-tweeting-his-flight-n …
What ever my lot, You have taught me to say, it is well, it is well with my soul.