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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was Jadeveon Clowney
if you’re sad about being alone on valentine’s day just remember nobody loves you on any other day of the year
I think anyone who uses the term YOLO should prove it by killing themselves.
never make fun of a fat girl with a lisp… she's probably thick and tired of it
I bet Billy Mays is partying like it's $19.99
"I was born with an enormous need for affection and a terrible need to give it." -audrey
RIP 2012 :( 2012-2012
Grumpy cat is the one cat I do like... But I don't like him as a cat, I like him as a grump
"Taylor Swift is like a velociraptor, if she senses movement, she dates it"
I might as well call you Bridge to Terabithia because you make children cry
Coffee is like a Christian. Once it's lukewarm it tastes terrible!
Bro, you're creepiness is NOT ACCEPTABLE
What if my love life is a disaster because I didn't forward those chain emails in seventh grade?
The trash gets taken out more than me.
...Poseidon is my beta fish.
Judge your significant other's ability to make a great spouse on their performance, not their potential
"so I killed Gopal... no, I called Gopal... sorry guys, I'm tired..." complete and absolute exhaustion is so entertaining
for lent, i am just giving up
to those of you who can't wait to find the right guy/girl- Song of Songs 8:4 says "Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires."
I was born with an enormous need for affection and a terrible need to give it. -audrey