Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
Thank god for Google's instant search. It's not like I have all second.
If you ask Elf on a Shelf fans, it's okay to waste toiletries & food, draw on mirrors & spook kids. Personally, I'd call an exterminator.
I won't step foot on a treadmill until they invent virtual reality glasses allowing me to virtually rob a bank & run from the cops.
Higher salaries should go to the safekeepers. Firefighters. Police. Some nuns. I don't sleep better knowing there are investment bankers.
Subtweets are stupid. Like I care what the Navy is thinking.
How could any criminal charge with the word "mischief" in it be a felony? That's like doing hard time for "hijinks" or "shenanigans."
My fingers stutter when I try to type twittererererr or cinnamonanmon.
Don't make me retweet myself.
I have no ikea how to build this shelving unit.
USMC Spouse. Writer. Mom of 3 in college. KS native. I hate liver & motivational speakers. I love science & naps.