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Okay, we shall bug you no longer
  • theshamingofjay
      Jay @theshamingofjay

    Gift @theshamingofjay Favstar Pro to unlock their best tweet!Gift them Pro!

    • 5,164
    • FAVS
    treadmilldTheSnarlsJalapenoJillmacchiatonumbWhosYourVaderGiddythefuckupmomopfaceCamusOverEasy
    • 4,075
    • RETWEETS
    notmargot663xsp0rkxtreadmilldlavendertulipzjaded_1982AshamedZilchJess_GomezJtoujours_fab
    BeagirlNJBoozieEyedJoeChymeNewsGroperClevelandDonnie_FairburnPlaying_DadJB4RealzheatherjsReverend_ScottmichowlPaperWashMichaelLarrickJohnBlackNowDuke1173ExitThaWarriorArrowsOfTheSunvelvettuskWhiskeySoured__PortRooster__PostedandBeamedrevenge_tanukisWildeThingybbast6CuddleMyHeart____LizWhatsherfaceKalvinMacleodHollyMemphisspekulationseanscrapsOlive_Liver
  • theshamingofjay
      Jay @theshamingofjay

    A threesome? Nah not for me. If I wanted to horribly disappoint two other people I'd go out to dinner with my parents

    • 4,837
    • FAVS
    treadmilldrobin_991GeorgiaGirl309SmuttWhispererMadMag_77fabiomoraesEasyToForget22Mrs_K_Renee
    • 3,510
    • RETWEETS
    lucy_nyholm123JessT_icalNathLordtreadmilldtabithacapeOlDirtyForkLiftGeorgiaGirl309SmuttWhisperer
    MutedCatfishMoi_RaRasmilely_galWindPushedGrassgvicksjifdendekkeAngryKoalaFruitJVarsityCaptainDani_FeldSavage_ScavangeNorthside_MikeNinjaFuneral______SoapyJohnsonArrowsOfTheSunThunder_Fart______ericonederfulRyncasaurusVillageShadow____MrsJekyllsHydetor_92_vPoliticallyILL1demented_Ashsamboriffickrissyerased______JorDAMN_SteveSuckingtonStrugglesBGbbDonnie_FairburnDBMaxPMatt_The_1stallisulliSwishergirl24
  • theshamingofjay
      Jay @theshamingofjay

    Exclamation point rules

    ! - good
    !! - excited
    !!! - awesome
    !!!! - starting to get creepy
    !!!!! - cheerleader creepy
    !!!!!! - own 20 cats

    • 3,485
    • FAVS
    macchiatonumbModerateBenderdougbiesthejacquiokcMcCowgirlitshotterheregrantgirl2004ElminsterX
    • 3,530
    • RETWEETS
    iAm_JoshSkillztexfuncamgirlMoe_Lee_tcatherathejacquioCBonehannonkcMcCowgirlitshotterhere
    MikeZakarianuseful_wagon______llvvzzZatvomanConcernedSirGuyEmileeCaroNolaChef5041800RandygingerfaceddafloydstaI_Mee_Myself_SCBamaManShaunRightNowgrimpossibleBeagleEars406__Northside_Mikejeffreyvanclea1turndownfornapsSenorbrianMd
  • theshamingofjay
      Jay @theshamingofjay

    Life's a piano and I'm wearing boxing gloves

    • 3,043
    • FAVS
    Thrill_TweeterEsmariSteenkampFiveGetsUTenlauraleeksmithporkycbrainbingemyonlymizztakePurple_whipped
    • 2,716
    • RETWEETS
    alaaihabahmedParkinsonSuzielauraleeksmithporkycbrainbingeP4TTT__myonlymizztakeMrMooGert
    hythemafiaTheAlexNevilabhorrent_wifeBandersnaaatchUnFitzr_wolfcastlejunkyardiganMeIissaMcDonaldstanleybehrmanaKhalifa101samborifficContradictEgo__Petotedapptrapmdob11iresurfvced__VaDawn13
  • theshamingofjay
      Jay @theshamingofjay

    *Pull

    *Pull

    *Pull

    FUCK

    *Pull

    *Pull

    *Pull

    FUCK

    Me trying to turn off a ceiling fan

    • 3,548
    • FAVS
    ModerateBenderdougbiesAnthonyFinchUSAluuloosmagicraisinthejacquioTedBundybitchPapa_Mex
    • 2,167
    • RETWEETS
    NolaChef504AnthonyFinchUSAgoldie_427__lorigonzalez28Randiii__thejacquioPapa_Mexhook8669
    1bastardangelJosesLovesYouPetPinkElephantHarbinger_oneJamesonN7pbear79hipchkkkodeeezzzymediocregee__RappaRickGrumpyBahrXplodingUnicornGoofpoopsLindaInDisguiseDouchekevin
  • theshamingofjay
      Jay @theshamingofjay

    Some ugly person just called me shallow

    • 3,382
    • FAVS
    CotysGotThisaimlessamersAxholetheGreatninjadinosaur1financechargeAnissaClingmancassvinceSuchaDumbWorld
    • 2,120
    • RETWEETS
    CotysGotThisIam2SmartforyounicmarstaraimlessamersGlamarouaneAxholetheGreatEnlightFundyninjadinosaur1
    grantgirl2004candace_9871mysteryteacher
  • theshamingofjay
      Jay @theshamingofjay

    My cell phone battery dies quicker than a mother in a Disney movie

    • 3,165
    • FAVS
    BarryVonAwesomedumbbeezielovestained555thebeachygirlPieChordShettyONTHErunLegs2HipsTrickleVaryTea
    • 2,269
    • RETWEETS
    whitesox9jen_nay11Mal_C_RegandumbbeezieCammille26OrigamiUndieslovestained555thebeachygirl
    Donnie_FairburnDanielRCarrilloBazarComedyJessObsessPlaying_DadjjwhalesshegotagronkbigmacheriAmJuddybelleahhWonderMonkey78MyFairCharityThe_MentalystGhostOfATrophy____BlACk__ThRoaTTaylormatronicsRyncasaurusPsycholane
  • theshamingofjay
      Jay @theshamingofjay

    A group of lions is called a pride. A group of my family members is called an embarrassment

    • 2,934
    • FAVS
    treadmillddougbieshalleratyoukcMcCowgirlthebelleofbamaFrankidontknowzokobaby__Truculent67
    • 2,140
    • RETWEETS
    notmargot663treadmilldhalleratyouthebelleofbamazokobaby__Dr_powpow3_livigrantgirl2004
    SubPsychee__MrJeremyHornArroiaBlondAmbitionTOThunder_Fart______felixosheaDudeImShawnNicholey23GeminiJew__JVarsityCaptainStevie_Talk__tylerisajokeTeowulfBarbz88Aredubbleyou______Shock_Monster__OreoSpeedwagon_Twisted_Mettlemahatmatweeteryou_can_touch____TheMongoose69__iMikosnychmmthereiheartguntsToneLoOnTheGoleslid79__________bitchkrieg________HairyJew4LifeJohnny_Redonzo
  • theshamingofjay
      Jay @theshamingofjay

    My son asked me what divorce was so I took half of his toys and when he started crying I took all of his money.

    • 2,530
    • FAVS
    ReezyIsMyNameBlindVigiltreadmilldTwatWaffler69KenknudsonKenMondayPajamasMHarounVEscF12
    • 2,328
    • RETWEETS
    Billy_ArnettReezyIsMyNameOriginalLozaka_DollieHookemcougswonderwomenmtreadmilldchrizt420
    BradBroaddusnewstart43Social_MimeVFlorrrVintageBabe1212Slim_is_FatDouchekevinPlaying_DadDonnie_FairburnPaperWashericsshadowarmyVet1972shwebby3StarksWeek__
  • theshamingofjay
      Jay @theshamingofjay

    Getting drunk is like having a 3rd base coach that waves you on no matter what

    • 2,839
    • FAVS
    hythemafiaAnissaClingmanfinancechargesnd7439miss_foofooSuchaDumbWorldKittyShittyyjkrambles
    • 1,937
    • RETWEETS
    TexSR_GlennTroublesince72hythemafiaAnissaClingmansnd7439JaRee_JohnsonSuchaDumbWorld__SxRxRnR__
    One_FineMesstoofabulashalldrolleduparmyantstudiosDranoRaulpeachey_keenAdWoodyardREALityDUMBBazarComedySteveSuckingtonReverend_ScottRaoul_Duke_71LindaInDisguiseLookAwayMomDad__misterbrymo
  • theshamingofjay
      Jay @theshamingofjay

    Stages of Twitter

    1) Follow celebrities
    2) Follow funny people
    3) Unfollow celebrities
    4) Realize you married the wrong person
    5) Die alone

    • 2,765
    • FAVS
    ModerateBenderdougbiesRandiii__AuthorChristyTitshotterheretennismonixSleazySliZeroFilterDarz
    • 1,818
    • RETWEETS
    itshotterhereHipsterAngryIncognickiBen_DuronioBravesGasmbradgearonwestiexwestieslimeygrimes
    GoneInTheMornthexytharaHiddleDeeDeemjkspeaksCrunch11bSufficientCharmGoldishocksMouthOfSass__mindintheshadow__
  • theshamingofjay
      Jay @theshamingofjay

    I can't go to sleep if any of my apps need to be updated, but will drive my car with the check engine light until it explodes

    • 2,590
    • FAVS
    HoorayBaconcassvinceSuchaDumbWorldKittyShittyySevernjacaTankCesarwittywedmotherWarningItsDia
    • 1,934
    • RETWEETS
    thequeensheartNight_Bird31ParkyLevineSuchaDumbWorldyouondanyWhitehawkJokerBareChestylissagnaa
    Dishy2101juneohara65jimmy_sharpeThrill_TweeterjeannerbeanerBCSkimaneesa_pDallaniHollyMemphislawyerthoughtsSonofConwayBigBob24266______
  • theshamingofjay
      Jay @theshamingofjay

    If you scan a barbwire tattoo at Walmart it unlocks a secret door to a room where hobos fight to the death for Toby Keith CDs

    • 2,411
    • FAVS
    youngkrazzbamb00zldlily_daisymamaGibJimsonJordyPants_ChickenFreckleza_olivia4212NolaChef504
    • 1,773
    • RETWEETS
    bamb00zldCChardman77lily_daisymamaChoice_Agendaninjadinosaur1shvrkxNolaChef504gianni_bcn
    SparkCityComedyBeagirlNJibid78rickkondell1BigMickBazarComedyLama911Gobshite_huntigulaDallani
  • theshamingofjay
      Jay @theshamingofjay

    If you pronounce coupon like qpon I hope you get eaten by a qgar

    • 2,317
    • FAVS
    elvisknievilbgirl314MommaUnfilteredScobeyWanKenobiRandomAnticsSgt_BiggzNoNeedToKnow29ItIsSaraWithAnH
    • 1,750
    • RETWEETS
    CalleighOSheabgirl31425JumpstreetscrltjdTwigggsterNoNeedToKnow29aubreyarndtDaywalkerSteve
    ContwixtBooFricketyHooBlondAmbitionTOnerdreigniheartgunts
  • theshamingofjay
      Jay @theshamingofjay

    The true beauty of Twitter is when you read a tweet and think holy fuck I'm not the only one

    • 2,304
    • FAVS
    NolaChef504ModerateBenderGen22BellaDSIChalligatorEPTLchDer367lovestained555TheReal_AndyMac
    • 1,738
    • RETWEETS
    Nonnie_LindaGen22maggiemay047RyeistheGuyTLchDer367lucy_nyholm123tat2skatermomTheMossman82
    cocainemigraineicyizziOldUncleDaveOwhathaveu1________The_Sculptresscloudybones__
  • theshamingofjay
      Jay @theshamingofjay

    Dad - Hi
    Me - Hi
    Dad -
    Me -
    Dad -
    Me -
    Dad -
    Me -
    Dad - You want to talk to Mom?

    Every phone conversation I've ever had with my Dad

    • 2,487
    • FAVS
    jordan_strattonNoticablyBacon2ndCitySaintSuchaDumbWorldRichBeingRichtiReynardMidlifecrisis18KittyShittyy
    • 1,494
    • RETWEETS
    2ndCitySaintSuchaDumbWorldkristywelmanWide_Eyed_GaltiReynardlissagnaaMidlifecrisis18KittyShittyy
    JamesonN7nerdculaContradictEgo__mrt1mHairyJew4Life
  • theshamingofjay
      Jay @theshamingofjay

    How to sleep as an adult

    1) be exhausted
    2) think about everything in your life
    3) fall asleep 30 minutes before you have to get up

    • 1,969
    • FAVS
    SleazySliGeoff55RamandajpandaTurtlesprints1Donna_McCoynikkpearceNoNeedToKnow29Randomchkk
    • 1,870
    • RETWEETS
    KDSciosciaiamribbeaterbarkerMlsMichaelDonna_McCoynellyn0knicksShrreeyaRaneRandomchkk
    XGroverX
  • theshamingofjay
      Jay @theshamingofjay

    Worried your tweet might offend someone?

    Send that shit

    People who shouldn't follow you will leave

    People who should will love you more

    • 1,896
    • FAVS
    seeUsawUToxicWorrierdougbiesdenofmusicAnthonyFinchUSAThat_Damn_DuckDestineyLynnthejacquio
    • 1,427
    • RETWEETS
    ToxicWorrierFreedomTexasMomshortandangry1denofmusicAnthonyFinchUSAFrankt78CainamMugen_Metroid
    GoldenSpiralsIrish_Red_33Prince_Madness1tehBoodha________GypsyJupiter__Ilovelamp1979Sparksy_TheDailySchmuck
  • theshamingofjay
      Jay @theshamingofjay

    Friend 1: I was promoted.
    Friend 2: I got engaged.
    Friend 3: My wife is pregnant again.
    Me: One of my selfies almost got 50 likes.

    • 2,096
    • FAVS
    HollyMemphisK8AustendxblarssonENGDestineyLynnaimlessamersbabyblue0924TouchOfAlchemyAnissaClingman
    • 1,216
    • RETWEETS
    EmmySLHollyMemphisSLShockeyfanLiAnneLisadxblarssonENGDestineyLynnsaritakioriMitchWeiner1971
    ladyfiredancerOtherDanOBrien
  • theshamingofjay
      Jay @theshamingofjay

    Marriage, because a fight about how you fold laundry should definitely escalate into why you're a worse person than Hitler

    • 1,979
    • FAVS
    NolaChef504ToxicWorrierdougbiesMadameRamotsweAnthonyFinchUSAMistriLynRandiii__starwarsshirt
    • 1,316
    • RETWEETS
    ToxicWorrierGraceMcConachie24k_mexADyslexicHeartsomeawesomechicGiantSweetTartAnthonyFinchUSAfrancykinpants
    MrsJekyllsHydeKori_OkieDadsbustednuts____seanscrapsnicfit75iheartguntsJaiWalker________
@theshamingofjay

@theshamingofjay

Just another asshole

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