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Okay, we shall bug you no longer
  • theshamingofjay
      Jay @theshamingofjay

    Gift @theshamingofjay Favstar Pro to unlock their best tweet!Gift them Pro!

    • 5,181
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    sheseemslegitslobearmeatballwizardjordan_strattonIRKittentweetcomedianPiecezillapatr1ck
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    CompoundJoeynewkingofmediasheseemslegitsuperme52Momzilla111SABINAt_satansmeatstickbrunolamberts
    ericonederfulBeagirlNJBoozieEyedJoeChymeNewsGroperClevelandDonnie_FairburnPlaying_DadJB4RealzheatherjsReverend_ScottmichowlPaperWashMichaelLarrickJohnBlackNowDuke1173ExitThaWarriorArrowsOfTheSunvelvettuskWhiskeySoured__PortRooster__PostedandBeamedrevenge_tanukisWildeThingybbast6CuddleMyHeart____LizWhatsherfaceKalvinMacleodHollyMemphisspekulationcleverdudOlive_Liver__
  • theshamingofjay
      Jay @theshamingofjay

    A threesome? Nah not for me. If I wanted to horribly disappoint two other people I'd go out to dinner with my parents

    • 4,906
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    SteveThomas67WaterLilyDreamskayleighpugetasiananomalysheseemslegitazraelwritesAbdalrahman_A_Achoc_09
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  • theshamingofjay
      Jay @theshamingofjay

    Exclamation point rules

    ! - good
    !! - excited
    !!! - awesome
    !!!! - starting to get creepy
    !!!!! - cheerleader creepy
    !!!!!! - own 20 cats

    • 3,489
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    writersdreamCrunk_Jewslauraleeksmith__tarlbludworthHardmanRicksarrrcasmJLazySAngusTwatWaffler69__
    • 3,537
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  • theshamingofjay
      Jay @theshamingofjay

    Some ugly person just called me shallow

    • 3,957
    • LIKES
    tgilliland789danivdiddlesUmmm_Nope_MzCoburnHelmdawgEscratchmyvinylsplinteredvinyl_theigirl
    • 2,492
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  • theshamingofjay
      Jay @theshamingofjay

    Life's a piano and I'm wearing boxing gloves

    • 3,206
    • LIKES
    mzjleesheseemslegitThe_MartiniGirlDiveInsideMindsI_Bl33d_PurpleJaded_Halo_MareGoku23prestajem
    • 2,873
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    electricanisaACentaurLadydudeitsritasheseemslegitiennaGiiurs_marlonnisha_29septNayaklfc
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  • theshamingofjay
      Jay @theshamingofjay

    *Pull

    *Pull

    *Pull

    FUCK

    *Pull

    *Pull

    *Pull

    FUCK

    Me trying to turn off a ceiling fan

    • 3,552
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    sheseemslegitCrunk_JewsDrDedee__OneBlueHeartAnkCoupleTOModerateBenderdougbiesAnthonyFinchUSA
    • 2,170
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    wjfrittsCrunk_JewsOneBlueHeartAnkCoupleTONolaChef504AnthonyFinchUSAgoldie_427__lorigonzalez28
    1bastardangelJosesLovesYouPetPinkElephantHarbinger_oneJamesonN7pbear79hipchkkkodeeezzzymediocregeeRappaRickGrumpyBahrXplodingUnicornGoofpoopsLindaInDisguiseDouchekevin__
  • theshamingofjay
      Jay @theshamingofjay

    How to sleep as an adult

    1) be exhausted
    2) think about everything in your life
    3) fall asleep 30 minutes before you have to get up

    • 2,853
    • LIKES
    queeenvksheseemslegitMcInappropriatennnnnnnnnnitsuJ__RichHarris2sue_hey_laDahmerscookpotBillie_T
    • 2,835
    • RETWEETS
    mehbwahhahabridge415SincPritchard88McInappropriateshore1022manJimbauxsJournalsue_hey_laKiera_Rose
    XGroverX
  • theshamingofjay
      Jay @theshamingofjay

    My cell phone battery dies quicker than a mother in a Disney movie

    • 3,242
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    asiananomalyfirebrand3sheseemslegitDestineyLynnmonks_19ShaistaJustinCrunk_JewsHeltonKGoins
    • 2,323
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    HaifaHusenalgawbsmaesitahWiezguyfuzzlimeOlivia__Mshandyasweet_lamb
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  • theshamingofjay
      Jay @theshamingofjay

    Getting drunk is like having a 3rd base coach that waves you on no matter what

    • 3,166
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    kratosfrostbiteRainbow__TigerThepinkparkapippydrydockingDestineyLynnsheseemslegitBiscuitFloaterkarenphotog
    • 2,186
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  • theshamingofjay
      Jay @theshamingofjay

    A group of lions is called a pride. A group of my family members is called an embarrassment

    • 2,941
    • LIKES
    stlavgjoesucre_nipsRhinoURsheseemslegitAweShadySomeThePocketJustinsneezy20340967Lishkadelica
    • 2,145
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    stlavgjoesucre_nipsRhinoURsheseemslegitKansas_loveCrunk_Jewslauraleeksmith__kattywinkz
    SubPsychee__MrJeremyHornArroiaBlondAmbitionTOThunder_Fart______felixosheaDudeImShawnNicholey23GeminiJew__JVarsityCaptainStevie_Talk__tylerisajokeTeowulfBarbz88Aredubbleyou______Shock_Monster__OreoSpeedwagon___Twisted_Mettlemahatmatweeteryou_can_touch____TheMongoose69__iMikosnychmmthereiheartguntsToneLoOnTheGoleslid79__________bitchkrieg________HairyJew4LifeJohnny_Redonzo
  • theshamingofjay
      Jay @theshamingofjay

    My son asked me what divorce was so I took half of his toys and when he started crying I took all of his money.

    • 2,556
    • LIKES
    SteveThomas67kayleighpugetasiananomalyDishy2101monks_19McInappropriateLishkadelicaShaistaJustin
    • 2,330
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    SteveThomas67asiananomalymonks_19McInappropriateTheWhirlaBiskittyCrunk_Jewsjunkyardigan
    BradBroaddusnewstart43Social_MimeVFlorrrVintageBabe1212Slims_RamblingsDouchekevin__Playing_DadDonnie_FairburnPaperWashericsshadowarmyVet1972shwebby3StarksWeek__
  • theshamingofjay
      Jay @theshamingofjay

    Friend 1: I was promoted.
    Friend 2: I got engaged.
    Friend 3: My wife is pregnant again.
    Me: One of my selfies almost got 50 likes.

    • 2,951
    • LIKES
    ZeroFilterDarz_978_ItsMyKitchenthatdutchpersonthefosterersarah1mcvikkaronimattZillaaaa
    • 1,823
    • RETWEETS
    kerrijerseydanp25infPaolaRinaldinonpromqueenthatdutchpersonTwiterPoopersSaveItForFestyokaiulani
    ladyfiredancerOtherDanOBrien
  • theshamingofjay
      Jay @theshamingofjay

    I can't go to sleep if any of my apps need to be updated, but will drive my car with the check engine light until it explodes

    • 2,645
    • LIKES
    Kappa_KappaShaistaJustinMartaEffingzarascottioOutofmyIndyheadmsbtx3sunzzznevels_kendyle
    • 1,960
    • RETWEETS
    McInappropriatelauraleeksmith__nevels_kendyleIwanWilcarolinagirl225yesterdaygirlyiamTalha95ChristieLue
    Dishy2101juneohara65jimmy_sharpe__Thrill_Tweeter__jeannerbeanerBCSkimaneesa_pDallaniHollyMemphislawyerthoughtsSonofConwayBigBob24266______
  • theshamingofjay
      Jay @theshamingofjay

    Stages of Twitter

    1) Follow celebrities
    2) Follow funny people
    3) Unfollow celebrities
    4) Realize you married the wrong person
    5) Die alone

    • 2,770
    • LIKES
    Crunk_JewsBentToastCravin4Lani_HaydennonprophetessaKhalifa101dangerousd111lauraleeksmith__
    • 1,822
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    sawmilltaterswjfrittsdedHESHrRJayMcWadeCrunk_JewsBentToastLani_HaydenDaRandomAsshole
    GoneInTheMornthexytharaHiddleDeeDeemjkspeaksCrunch11bSufficientCharmGoldishocksMouthOfSass__mindintheshadow__
  • theshamingofjay
      Jay @theshamingofjay

    If you scan a barbwire tattoo at Walmart it unlocks a secret door to a room where hobos fight to the death for Toby Keith CDs

    • 2,439
    • LIKES
    McInappropriateCelestinelea90DavidLHelms__ryan_rachryan80CoLiN69Jlolife905Lani_Haydentarlbludworth
    • 1,784
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    SincPritchard88VlanTrunkMcInappropriateryan_rachryan80B_Internationallolife905Lani_HaydenJohnKlimas
    SparkCityComedyBeagirlNJibid78rickkondell1BigMickBazarComedyLama911Gobshite_huntigulaDallani
  • theshamingofjay
      Jay @theshamingofjay

    Dad - Hi
    Me - Hi
    Dad -
    Me -
    Dad -
    Me -
    Dad -
    Me -
    Dad - You want to talk to Mom?

    Every phone conversation I've ever had with my Dad

    • 2,610
    • LIKES
    kayleighpugetasiananomalyShaistaJustinslobear1CleverClogszarascottiocalamitydaisyNorsebysw
    • 1,539
    • RETWEETS
    asiananomalyAaronTate81089FeelCosbyslobear1CleverClogsjazminedontiaSaritaBhaskaranTheBoyInTheBoot
    JamesonN7nerdculaContradictEgo__mrt1mHairyJew4Life
  • theshamingofjay
      Jay @theshamingofjay

    If you pronounce coupon like qpon I hope you get eaten by a qgar

    • 2,346
    • LIKES
    Nemcy_MykMcInappropriateShaistaJustinBlueDream2008DrDedee__zarascottiobunkygrandJimmySelfDest
    • 1,790
    • RETWEETS
    katcrosbhighhmeesass_incvirginswagLeitsMcBeatsanonymomsdoordhwaniAjlaXO
    ContwixtBooFricketyHooBlondAmbitionTOnerdreigniheartgunts
  • theshamingofjay
      Jay @theshamingofjay

    The true beauty of Twitter is when you read a tweet and think holy fuck I'm not the only one

    • 2,306
    • LIKES
    lauraleeksmith__KoKeniSasquatchAnkCoupleTONolaChef504ModerateBenderGen22BellaDSIChalligatorEP
    • 1,740
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    lauraleeksmith__JamiTennille__KoKeniSasquatchAnkCoupleTONonnie_LindaGen22maggiemay047RyeistheGuy35
    cocainemigraineicyizziOldUncleDaveOwhathaveu1________The_Sculptresscloudybones__
  • theshamingofjay
      Jay @theshamingofjay

    Welcome to the Cartoon Network writer's meeting. Have you all taken your acid?

    "Why is the dragon yelling at us?"

    Excellent, let's begin.

    • 1,998
    • LIKES
    MindBytesasiananomalypippydrydockingProudFFAalumnieTHEgoddessStoerdienstbarbhaynesImaFlyontheWall
    • 1,451
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    ProudFFAalumniDanielBenLeviAeroChivetteImaFlyontheWallDearAuntAbbyAbhirAgarwalmommywhinesBenjaminMcCart1
    writerPTGobshite_darrrkstarrr
  • theshamingofjay
      Jay @theshamingofjay

    Worried your tweet might offend someone?

    Send that shit

    People who shouldn't follow you will leave

    People who should will love you more

    • 1,898
    • LIKES
    bondgirl_79heroinsdemisemj07261999lauraleeksmith__lovejulieacafeStaceyGibbs65Johnny_Rotten_2KristinGnr
    • 1,429
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    cr0cs_and_jortsbondgirl_79sweetoblivion1heroinsdemiselauraleeksmith__StaceyGibbs65Johnny_Rotten_2KristinGnr
    GoldenSpiralsIrish_Red_33Prince_Madness1tehBoodha________GypsyJupiter__Ilovelamp1979Sparksy_TheDailySchmuck
@theshamingofjay

@theshamingofjay

Life's a piano and I'm wearing boxing gloves

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