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  • theshamingofjay
      Jay @theshamingofjay

    If dogs had snapchat the human filter would just be a phone that covered their entire face.

    • 10
    • LIKES
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    • 1
    • RETWEET
    withanewname
  • theshamingofjay
      Jay @theshamingofjay

    In 100 years religions will be based on what emojis you use for sexual innuendo.

    • 10
    • LIKES
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    • 2
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    DarthMichMunkMania
  • theshamingofjay
      Jay @theshamingofjay

    Wait a sec, just wait a fucking second. You'll read someone's tweet if they donate to a charity?? Holy shit. Cancer doesn't stand a chance.

    • 9
    • LIKES
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    • 2
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  • theshamingofjay
      Jay @theshamingofjay

    People vastly over estimate my intelligence when they tell me a book is a "quick read"

    • 33
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  • theshamingofjay
      Jay @theshamingofjay

    [girlfiend watching Curb your Enthusiasm] can you handle dealing with 40 years of this with someone who is angrier and not as funny?

    • 21
    • LIKES
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    • 5
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  • theshamingofjay
      Jay @theshamingofjay

    Boss: we need to talk
    Me: the selfies?
    B: what?
    Me: texting?
    B:
    Me: inappropriate emails?
    B: I felt you've been distracted
    Me: That's weird

    • 30
    • LIKES
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    • 6
    • RETWEETS
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  • theshamingofjay
      Jay @theshamingofjay

    Brain: you need to get your life together
    Me: yes I agree
    Brain: dude
    Me: [checking 5 different apps all day everyday] what?

    • 45
    • LIKES
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    • 18
    • RETWEETS
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  • theshamingofjay
      Jay @theshamingofjay

    [guy about to comment with the heart eye emoji on a girl's selfie] guess I'll be having sex with her later

    • 24
    • LIKES
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    • 7
    • RETWEETS
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  • theshamingofjay
      Jay @theshamingofjay

    My 5 yo told me he had to poop but that he could hold it 3 minutes. He then counted to 3 and told me we were in trouble.

    • 127
    • LIKES
    _jennjennPettishPandalisaxy424iamspacegirlHenry_3kjrza84realHamOnWryDickFurari
    • 40
    • RETWEETS
    IdiotEliminatorHenry_3ktarlbludworthSondraDeeMepauline_mcdDarthXavierCarolynJWeisslovelyjessij
  • theshamingofjay
      Jay @theshamingofjay

    I liked when you posted a selfie with every single snapchat filter in a row but I LOVED when you posted them all again on Instagram.

    • 55
    • LIKES
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    • 21
    • RETWEETS
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  • theshamingofjay
     
    Jay @theshamingofjay

    @Willie1derful couldn't believe it was an actual fight, lately they fake like they're going to then wait for everyone to get in between them

    • 1
    • LIKE
    Willie1derful
  • theshamingofjay
      Jay @theshamingofjay

    When you've been on your phone in the work bathroom for an hour pic.twitter.com/PT6qWheICk

    • 31
    • LIKES
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    • 10
    • RETWEETS
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  • theshamingofjay
     
    Jay @theshamingofjay

    @paperphotoyo 🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻

    • 1
    • LIKE
    paperphotoyo
  • theshamingofjay
      Jay @theshamingofjay

    5: I cant sleep I'm scared of monsters
    Me: I cant sleep bc I'm thinking of something I said in 7th grade
    5:
    Me: yes you can sleep in my bed

    • 61
    • LIKES
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    • 18
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  • theshamingofjay
      Jay @theshamingofjay

    [girlfriend asks to substitute vegetables for fries] et tu Brute?

    • 16
    • LIKES
    jrza84Black__ElvisGoldenSpiralsrose24_emJamesonN7Willie1derfulpaperphotoyoDSLikesIt
    • 2
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  • theshamingofjay
      Jay @theshamingofjay

    [guy at jewelry store looking for something for his wife]
    "What number Instagram account are you on?"
    5th one
    "The diamonds are over here"

    • 33
    • LIKES
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  • theshamingofjay
      Jay @theshamingofjay

    [Holden Caulfield blocking everyone who responded to the tbt pic of his brother with a blue heart]

    • 33
    • LIKES
    Black__ElvisGoldenSpiralsrose24_emWittyHendrixHoneyBaaBaaJamesonN7Willie1derfulpaperphotoyo
    • 8
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  • theshamingofjay
      Jay @theshamingofjay

    Every time a married person puts their Snapchat profile picture on Instagram a divorce attorney puts a down payment on a beach house.

    • 94
    • LIKES
    CVTBabyGooooatsjrza84godthewomanlinanneblackBlack__ElvisGoldenSpiralsnotJ_McKee
    • 34
    • RETWEETS
    jrza84godthewomanBlack__ElvisCaptYogaPantsnotJ_McKeeHoneyBaaBaaJamesonN7FatBottomGirl1
  • theshamingofjay
      Jay @theshamingofjay

    Please respond to your own tweet within 3 minutes, it definitely didn't get the recognition it deserved.

    • 62
    • LIKES
    juanadogjrza84GoldenSpiralsGibJimsonpauline_mcdUrPalWillyJamesonN7perhapssomeday
    • 21
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    JamesonN7perhapssomedaykool_eggPlanet_RochelleWillie1derfulPinkCamoTOanuragkaushik22paperphotoyo
  • theshamingofjay
      Jay @theshamingofjay

    [makes social miscue that no one else in a million years would ever notice] my brain: okay yes, this is good material for the next decade

    • 37
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    jrza84GoldenSpiralsWillie1derfulKizerBillhelmheidi420xTierno158Black__ElvisMoneypennyNaked
    • 8
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@theshamingofjay

@theshamingofjay

Just another asshole

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