Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
Just parked next to a co-worker who also had a Honda Pilot with car seats in the back. We made eye contact and then both started crying.
A tattoo? I'm 34 and I'm still not sure if I like my haircut.
Twitter is proof that most peoples minds are way louder than their voices.
I bet there's a dude in Korea named Bae with a pretty big head right now.
I feel like I'm always two bad decisions away from being homeless.
I bitch about my job an awful lot for someone who does nothing to change it.
The new American dream is driving your Japanese car to a job you hope doesn't go to an Indian as you distract yourself with a Chinese phone.
How many times do you have to cry in your cubicle before you get to go on disability?
Stop being so friendly psycho.
Our grandparents sent handwritten love letters to express their love to each other. We send text messages with three heart emojis in a row.
STOP OPENING THE BASEMENT DOOR MOM I TOLD YOU I'M CONDUCTING IMPORTANT BUSINESS
My hypnotism spell puts your dragon to sleep