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In New York today a person ahead of me at Starbucks paid it forward and gave $20 for drinks for everyone on line. We all got pretty angry.
Oh how am I doing? You know, analyzing every decision I've ever made over and over knowing regardless what I chose to do I'd regret it.
It was after the third 😂 that I knew I was now accepted in the black community.
Read the dictionary all you want but you won't know the true definition of disappointment until you've met me.
Man you're annoying, but also attractive, so I'll allow it.
The horn for a Smart Car is a queef.
I just drank coffee I forgot on the counter this morning. It was so cold and bitter I wrote it an alimony check.
Some stranger was just friendly to me. Fucking weirdo.
Ugh it's like this is the first time my human resources department has heard of business spandex.
I eat my breakfast just like everyone else, crying while I fashion a noose.
You see son, Tori intimidated Zack because of her motorcycle and leather jacket but in the end......
DAD CAN I PLEASE JUST DO MY HOMEWORK.
I'm no scientist but you're a whore.
- me to everything