Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
I know everything that I need to know about our friendship based on the number I am when you start a new account and start following people.
Woah, woah, woah, stop talking. You're ruining my faith in humanity.
Tweeting on Thanksgiving just like the Pilgrims.
"You know Bob, all the floats in the parade have hot air provided from one woman. They line them up and ask Jay's ex what's wrong with him."
*rolls chair next to coworkers cubicle* "the serving size for your perfume isn't the whole bottle"
*hums Charles In Charge theme song during arraignment*
Oh you think you have me figured out? Cool, could you let me know because I have no idea.
*squints looking at your face*
"Nope, go back home and try again"
*gets irrationally angry about everything*
It's like no one at this One Direction concert has seen a grown man cry before.
Remember guys, even the most beautiful women in the world are super insecure. They still don't want you, but it's nice to know.
Relax ugly, we get it, you have a new internet boyfriend.
Hold on, let me just slip into something more comfortable *swallows cyanide pill*
I had that awful nightmare again where I was obsessed with posting things so I can get validation from strangers I've never met before.
Don't ever beat yourself up for what you think makes you crazy. Everyone has something, they're just better at pretending its under control.