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Sorry bruh we gots to be free rn - Tjeffs out.
If the Declaration of Independence was written today.
Sparklers, training wheels for missing fingers.
*starts getting anxious about going back to work walking out door for vacation*
Jefferson: I just hope future generations will appreciate what this day means
Franklin: If they can buy a mattress on sale we have succeeded
Americans: July 4th is the greatest, let's get drunk and shoot off fireworks.
Dogs: I fucking hate today, meet you under the couch?
Jefferson: today we declare our independence
Adams: its the just thing to do
Franklin: am I the only one drunk rn? who wants to fly a kite?
Hey, hey, hey. Let's settle this like adults.
"So bitch and fight like little kids who are older and taller?"
No thanks horror movies, my life is doing just fine by itself.
Sorry, can't come out. The charger for my charger isn't charged.
Franklin: The pursuit of whores
Jefferson: Jesus Ben, are you drunk again?
Franklin: your mom's drunk again
Jefferson: How about this? We hold these truths to be self-evident: that all men are created equal.
Slave: *rolling eyes* sounds great babe.
If only life was as good as it appears in selfies.
Right about now Thomas Jefferson was preparing to declare independence & start a war. I just watched 90210 eating Cheez Its in my underwear.
Hahahahaha - what absolutely no one is thinking about the snapshot of your text message conversation.
Buying new rims and an exhaust for a Volkswagen is expensive because they have to include replacing all the neighbor's panties in the price.
Saw an old man at the store today with shorts & hiked up black socks, getting free cheese samples. How does one say hi to their future self?
Test to find out if you found the one:
Play November Rain in the car. If they talk during Slash's solo, keep looking.
Just another asshole
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